The National Toy Hall of Fame, which is a real entity, on Thursday inducted two more toys into its illustrious ranks: Chess and the rubber ducky. Both are solid choices. The former is a cerebral yet fun game of strategy, while the latter makes bath time so much fun.
Those worthy picks, however, join a number of puzzling inductees that are either terrible toys or, in a few cases, not even toys at all.
Here, the 10 least worthy inductees in the NTHOF:
"The stick may be the world's oldest toy," the NTHOF proclaims, noting its utilitarian functionality. Probably true, though proponents of rock might have something to say about that.
And being the "oldest" toy doesn't mean the common stick is any good, as far as toys go. If you're going to exalt generic things as toys, you may as well include "water" and "trees."
Skateboards aren't toys, as any jaded teen or Bart Simpson will tell you: They're lifestyle accessories.
Raggedy Andy was inducted in 2007, five years after Raggedy Ann went into the Hall. There are a couple of problems with this.
First, they're the same toy by another name. Star Wars action figures are in the Hall collectively, a model these dolls should follow.
And second, if you're going to induct both genders of the same toy, there is no way Andy can be in the Hall while Barbie's pal, Ken, is not. Sure, no one plays with Ken — but does anyone really play with Raggedy Andy either?
Scrabble does not deserve the belittling classification of a mere "toy." It's a fiercely competitive adult board game in which you can score points by spelling dirty words.
Kids shouldn't have to create their own snacks. That's what parents and supermarkets are for. Sure, a little self-reliance and culinary know-how will come in handy later in life, but appliances are, by definition, not toys.
No one plays with toy trains anymore outside of pediatricians' offices. No one. Maybe collectors of esoterica run them around tracks in their basements from time to time, but that's more about the vintage thrill than the joy of playtime.
Jacks were inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame in 2000, or roughly 40 years after someone last enjoyed playing with them.
The traditional Jack-in-the-Box "offers continual delight" to children who can play with it forever without "tiring of the joke," according to the NTHOF.
False. It is the most monotonous toy imaginable.
The rocking horse is not a toy. It's a chair.
The hobby horse, however, is a wonderful toy. You can even make your own out of a common stick and a little imagination.