1. A near-perfect tweet
Unlike Dad, Bo Obama's approval ratings are at an all-time high according to informal polls (me).

2. Sam Horowitz's bar mitzvah is the best bar mitzvah in history
The magic — and boy, do we do mean magic — starts around the 1:15 mark, when spectacular 13-year-old Sam Horowitz makes his dazzling entrance before the party's attendees. He's like Beyonce, but tinier and not married to Jay-Z. (Via Death and Taxes)

3. Here is an adorable baby sloth exercising
This is me at the gym. (Gym = in my room, with 5-pound weights.)

4. And while we're at it…
Here's a baby panda meeting its enormous mother for the first time. (Via BuzzFeed)

5. Vine magic
Um, what.

6. Prince joins Twitter
And posts his first selfie.

Related: Prince doesn't know what a selfie is.

7. Objection! (ht Adrian Chen)

Sometimes people argue on the internet, which is why you should add this to your arsenal. How to use it:

1. Select your character
2. Type your grievance
3. Hit "Objection!"
4. Send to your enemies

8. Tumblr of the Week: Scenes from The Wire
Here's the gist: Every hour, an automated bot grabs a random scene from HBO's The Wire and posts it to Tumblr as a GIF. Sometimes the result is something completely nonsensical:

Sometimes, it's spot on:

But most of the time, it's just weird: