Mother's Day is on Sunday, and according to Japanese e-tailer Rakuten, Americans will spend an average of $144 on dear old Mom — putting the maternal celebration right behind Christmas as the most gifting holiday on the calendar. (Dads get $82 worth of swag on Father's Day.) Brazilians shell out $177 for Mother's Day. Japanese children will be giving their mothers a red carnation, Rakuten says, and 73 percent of Austrian sons will make a gift for their mom. In Britain, 20 percent of moms most want a nap, and 46 percent of them will get a text message or Facebook note rather than a card.

Late Night host Jimmy Fallon has his own Mother's Day tradition. To celebrate motherhood, he asked viewers and fans to tweet a "weird, funny, or embarrassing thing" their mother has said, using the hashtag #MomQuotes. He got thousands of tweets, and on Thursday night he read out the best ones. Watch above — and spoiler alert: The last one is the best.

As a bonus video, Saturday Night Live imagines what Mom really wants for Mother's Day, in a fake (vaguely risqué) Amazon commercial:

And a Fallon flashback to February, when the Late Night host and First Lady Michelle Obama groove through their evolution of "mom dancing":