Batman has given up on Gotham and, apparently, his exercise routine. A frumpy version of the Caped Crusader turned in a suspected burglar to a police station in Bradford, England, according to the BBC. The official statement from the Trafalgar House Police Station:
"Batman came into the helpdesk, stated to the staff 'I've caught this one for you,' and then promptly vanished into the night to fight crime and the fear of crime in Bradford." [BBC]
While the BBC tracked down a woman who believes she sold the costume to the man, his identity remains unknown. We, however, have a few theories on who the man behind the mask could be:
1. A politician who protests too much
Clue that you are, in fact, Batman? Denying that you're Batman. That's what MP George Galloway did this morning on his Twitter account. Friends of Mr. Galloway should be on the lookout for excessive brooding, a sudden interest in spelunking, and any close friendships with elderly butlers.
Contrary to rumours sweeping gotham, I am not the Bradford Batman, However I take my hat off to him and wish him luck in the future.
— George Galloway (@georgegalloway) March 4, 2013
2. An aging actor making a comeback
Maybe there is a reason the secretive hero was dressed as the campy 1960s Batman instead of the most recent one: Adam West is back. We hope this means the return of the Batcomputer.
3. A boy-band heartthrob
Speaking of classic '60s Batman, One Direction's Zayn Malik was spotted last year with a "ZAP!" tattoo on his arm, which is probably why online betting site Ladbrokes put the odds that he is Bradford's Batman at 50/1. The evidence against it? We're pretty sure Malik would die before covering up that hair.
4. The real deal
Has anyone tried looking up Wayne, Bruce in the Bradford phonebook? Last time we checked in on him in The Dark Knight Rises, he was traipsing around Europe with Anne Hathaway. She'll be the one giving a teary, carefully rehearsed speech in front of a large audience.