1. No, Kim Kardashian is not quitting her reality show
The internet was buzzing yesterday after rumors spread that Kim Kardashian might be leaving her E! reality series Keeping Up With the Kardashians after this season, running the risk of leaving the nation's Kardashian supply at an all-time low. But never fear, Kardashi-fans: In a blog post at Celebuzz, Kim says she isn't going anywhere. "The show remains to be my number 1 priority," insists Kardashian— so consider yourself number two, Kanye.
2. Shia LaBeouf quits Broadway play, leaks weird emails about it
When Shia LaBeouf quit the upcoming Broadway play Orphans over reported creative differences with costar Alec Baldwin, he did it the only way Shia LaBeouf does anything: Loudly and publicly. Shortly after it was announced that LaBeouf was leaving the play, the actor took to Twitter to clarify the situation by posting screenshots of long, pretentious emails he exchanged with Baldwin and director Daniel Sullivan. "A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job," said LaBeouf, as he quit his job. Anyone who would like to read the rest of LaBeouf's interminable musings about what it means to be a man — which seems to have been plagiarized, at least in part, from a 2009 Esquire article — can do so at Entertainment Weekly.
3. Lindsay Lohan ruins borrowed dress
At this point in her career, it's safe to say that Lindsay Lohan is not the most reliable actress in Hollywood — and she keeps finding new and clever ways to prove it. The Daily News reports that Lohan recently cut off the bottom half of a borrowed $1,700 gown with a pair of scissors before returning it to stylist Phillip Bloch, with the helpful explanation that "the dress ripped" and needed to be cut. "I would definitely work with her again," said an unfathomably generous Bloch. "I would just lay down some ground rules" — because Lohan has never attempted to circumvent the rules before.
4. Mila Kunis is "more than game" for That '70s Show reunion
One might argue that 200 episodes of That '70s Show was enough to tell the story of a half-dozen aimless slackers in Wisconsin — but at least one of the show's stars is eager to give it another go. "I'm more than game for it," said Kunis in an interview at E! Online. "Why not? I loved it. It was eight years and they were eight amazing years of my life." Fans can keep crossing their fingers for That '90s Show, in which a pudgy, balding Topher Grace mourns elegiacally over the marijuana-hazed memories of his youth.
5. Jane Lynch to make Broadway debut as Miss Hannigan in Annie
Today in uncannily perfect casting: Glee star Jane Lynch is set to make her Broadway debut in May when she replaces Katie Finneran as the cruel Miss Hannigan in Annie on Broadway, reports CNN. "Some may say I know a thing or two about playing intimidating authority figures," says Lynch — who has, indeed, worked steadily for the past decade by playing pretty much nothing but intimidating authority figures.