Spock can never just “come right out and tell Capt. Kirk that he loved him,” said Peter Hartlaub in the San Francisco Chronicle, but the new Star Trek movie shows again why “Spock and Kirk are the best examples of guy love in the universe.” Forget “watered-down false bromances” like “I Love You, Man” and TV’s “Scrubs” (watch Scrubs’ “Guy Love” video)—those straight-guy couples always side with their women in the end. With Spock and Kirk, “no woman could substitute.”

The new Star Trek’s “bro-mantic tension” between Spock and Kirk, said Sady Doyle in Britain’s The Guardian, conflicts with the franchise’s history of “liberal utopian fantasy.” Even in the future, it seems, the only way a woman gets a speaking part is by hooking up with Spock or Kirk. Besides, apparently “all movies released this year must, by law, include some sort of bromance.”

Bromances may be big now, said ContactMusic.com, but the winning “Bromance of Bromances” in a new poll isn’t Kirk and Spock—although they make the Top 10. It’s the 40-year-old paring of Paul Newman’s Butch Cassidy and Robert Redford’s Sundance Kid. Other top bromantic duos are Top Gun’s Maverick and Iceman, and Lethal Weapon’s Murtaugh and Riggs.