Good week for:

Man bites dog, after 11-year-old Gabriel Almeida of Brazil saved himself from a pit bull attack by sinking his teeth into the canine’s neck. The boy is now a national hero.

Supplemental income,
after Mick Jagger turned 65, becoming eligible for a state pension of $180 a week.

The 9-year-old girl formerly known as Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, after a New Zealand judge ordered her legally renamed, citing “the very poor judgment” of her parents.

Bad week for:

Antoinette Bowser of Virginia, who began her driving test by backing into a parked car in the parking lot of the Department of Motor Vehicles, allegedly injuring the test instructor. To cover the instructor’s workers-compensation claim, the state is now suing Bowser for $75,000.

The getaway, after police arrested Sean Gallagher of Illinois on charges he robbed the same gas station three times in recent months. After the third robbery, a gas station employee pointed Gallagher out to police as he walked to his home, which is 200 yards away.

Claustrophobia, after a drunken British woman coming home from vacation in Greece tried to open the door of a charter plane at 33,000 feet. “Apparently she wanted to catch some fresh air,” said police.