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Good week for: Santa Claus, after the jolly old elf working a mall in Danbury, Conn., told police that a grown woman had climbed onto his lap and groped him.

Bad week for: Santa Claus, after the Canadian post office revealed that one of the 11,000 volunteers who respond to letters addressed to Santa Claus at the North Pole had written obscene replies to at least 10 children. “We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there,” said a spokeswoman.