Good week for: Oscar Wilde, who has been voted the wittiest man in British history. The Irish-born playwright, whose famous last words were, “Either these curtains go or I do,” narrowly beat out comedian Spike Milligan, whose gravestone is inscribed with the epitaph, “I told you I was ill.”

Bad week for: The holistic approach, when a dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients told the judge that he was merely manipulating the women’s pectoral muscles to relieve jaw pain caused by temporo-mandibular joint disorder.