Dear Starshine,

My boyfriend — let's call him Pete — and I have been together for three years, and are engaged to be married. Pete was chubby when I met him, and has gained 40 pounds since we've been a couple. I was chubby when we met, too. But in the past 15 months, through diet and rigorous exercise, I've become slim and toned. I simply wanted to be healthy and have more energy — and my attraction to Pete has not waned. But recently, he was taken to the ER with chest pains, diagnosed with high blood pressure, and advised by his doctor to lose weight....  More»

Dear Starshine,

Any recommendations for how to remember your lover's name in bed? After nearly four years with the same guy, I've got a new one. And I cannot for the life of me remember his name when we're in the throes of it — and have to stop myself from using the last one's name. I get stuck saying "oh, babe" so that I don't accidentally yell, "oh, Mike" (ex's name) instead of "oh, Steve" (new guy). I'm constantly terrified. Suggestions?

Hold on just a sec. You want me to rustle up sympathy because there are too many men making you wail in ecstasy? OK, look, I'm going to help you, but only because there are too few people out there with truly enviable...  More»

Dear Starshine,

Is it normal for adults (late 20, early 30s) to leave a restaurant table before the main course to smoke weed in an alleyway? Because recently, my dining companions did just that. I'm not a stodgy grump with weed phobias, but I find the action of removing oneself from an evening of drinks and dining with friends to smoke a J rather rude, and I'm taking it personally. Is my conversation so dull and unappealing that you must get stoned to tolerate it? I'm thinking of extracting myself from future dining adventures with these "friends" in favor of those who enjoy my company in a more sober state....  More»

Dear Starshine,

Last year when I was visiting relatives in the Philippines I spotted a very well known American actor in a popular mall. Although he was wearing sunglasses and a cap, I recognized him immediately. He was with an attractive woman and they were holding hands and kissing. On an impulse, I discreetly took pictures of them. When I returned home, I showed them to my wife, who informed me that this actor has been married with children for years and that the woman in the photos is not his wife. We shook our heads, chuckled, and forgot about it....  More»

Dear Starshine,

I recently learned that my 24-year-old stepson "Alex," whom I helped raise, is an actor in the porn industry. He's been doing this for several years and there are numerous videos of him online engaging in sexual acts. When I found out I was sad and appalled. I called Alex and he said it was true. I haven't spoken to him since; I just can't bring myself to. The problem is I have two other sons, "Kurt," 13, and "Kyle," 14. Alex, who lives across the country, invited them to spend a week with him at his house. The boys have been out to see him several times in the past few years, but that was before I knew about his job....  More»

Dear Starshine,

I'm a college student, and a TV addict. I watch entire series in less than two weeks. I plan events around television schedules. I set shows to record weeks in advance. I crave new episodes of my usual shows, and fill the time in between with other shows. I follow TV websites, subscribe to entertainment magazines, and follow the stars, writers, and directors of the shows on Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr. I mean, I do other things besides watch TV: I work, and go to school, and have a social life. But my TV habit is greatly impacting my grades, and I need to make education my priority....  More»

Dear Starshine,

I haven't spoken to my drama-queen mother-in-law for nearly three years. It dates back to the time she visited my husband and me when we had been married for two years, and told him that I was using him, that she didn't think I had ever loved him, and that he should divorce me and come live with her. She claimed that his old high-school job was waiting for him, and that she had remodeled his old room. Now whenever my in-laws visit, I go home to see my family. My husband still visits his parents at their home a few times a year without me....  More»

Dear Starshine,

I left my controlling, abusive ex a year ago. We have two small boys together. I met him when I was 16 and left him at age 24 due to his drinking, cheating, and domestic violence. I'm not in love with him anymore, but will always have a spot in my heart for him as the father of our children. A part of me misses him and wonders if things would work if we gave it another shot and acted as adults instead of immature children. The only way to find out would be to give us another try... but I'm wondering if my heart, soul, and sanity could handle it if we didn't work out, or if things went back to the same routine....  More»

Dear Starshine,

Recently, a video went viral of a father mercilessly beating his daughters with a cable wire. I saw it, and it's been haunting me. All the old memories of my childhood have flooded back. My father would dole out similar beatings to my brother and I. We have permanent scars on our backs, chests, and legs to prove it. My wife Becky is pregnant with our first child, and we've been discussing how to raise our daughter; we want to be on the same page about discipline. Becky feels that an occasional whack or spanking is acceptable as long as it's done as a last resort and not past the age of eight....  More»

Dear Starshine,

I've been dating the same man for more than seven years. In year three, I caught him on Match.com. He denied that he put himself on there, told me that the site just sends him emails, and assured me that he's in this relationship with both feet. OK, everyone deserves another chance. But I just caught him on Match again; the guff ball asked me for computer help and his message window opened up with 31 matches. Again he swore that it's just junk mail. But he is 66 and should know the difference between right and wrong. I do still love this man....  More»

Dear Starshine,

My mother-in-law is dumb as a bag of hammers and actually dyes her hair blonde. However, she absolutely loves my toddler daughter. They get along famously — perhaps because of an intellectual equality the two may share — and play and squeal all day long. My daughter was fortunate enough to have her parents' intelligence passed on to her. She is quite clever and full of personality for a 15-month-old. My question is this: Is there any possibility, with prolonged exposer, that my mother-in-law could dumb down my daughter?...  More»

Dear Starshine,

My husband has a small penis. There, I've said it. We have an active sex life, and he is really good with his hands, so he thinks that as long as he's giving me orgasms his size doesn't matter — but it's starting to. For me, orgasms aren't everything. Sometimes it's difficult to feel him, and I like a sensation of fullness. I don't know how to tell him this for fear of crushing him. 

For the love of God, don't tell him! No, no, no, there's no reason to bring that up.

We're gonna work this out, but you have to promise not to criticize your husband's meager member....  More»