Bad week for:
The U.S. Men’s National Soccer Team, which failed to qualify for next year’s World Cup in Russia. The team’s stunning, 2-1 defeat by tiny Trinidad and Tobago this week means the U.S. will miss the tournament for the first time since 1986.
Literality, after the Food and Drug Administration warned a Massachusetts natural foods company to stop listing “Love” as an ingredient in its granola, since “‘Love’ is not a common or usual name of an ingredient.”
Trolls, after a New York Times report that as a high-schooler, White House senior adviser Stephen Miller once jumped into the final stretch of a girls’ track race in order to prove male athletic superiority, and derided Latino students for speaking Spanish.
Designated driving, after the “Napa Valley Wine Train,” which safely takes tipsy visitors on a tour of Napa Valley vineyards, collided with a stretch limo filled with other wine tourists. No serious injuries were reported.