Good week for:
The search for E.T., when billionaire astronomer Yuri Milner announced an effort to detect any radio signals being emitted by the strange, cigar-shaped object that recently whizzed through our solar system. Some astronomers wonder if it’s an alien space probe.
Kim Jong Un, whose hackers have reportedly stolen an unknown quantity of bitcoin from online exchanges as a way to raise funds for the North Korean regime. The value of the so-called cryptocurrency has soared by more than 1,500 percent this year.
Holy copy editing, with Pope Francis’ suggestion that the phrase “Lead us not into temptation” in the English version of the Lord’s Prayer might be better translated as “Do not let us fall into temptation,” so as to remove any suggestion that God might be tempting us on purpose.
Bad week for:
Helpful ideas, after Australian army Capt. Sally Williamson proposed having sex workers “service” troops in combat zones to ease their loneliness and “help combat veterans with PTSD.” After complaints from outraged spouses, the suggestion was withdrawn.
Popularity, after Richard Klose, 74, was elected to the Laurel, Mont., City Council even though he didn’t run. Klose, who won with three write-in votes, says he’ll serve “since I have the time.”
Self-incrimination, when a Long Island, N.Y., woman due in court on marijuana charges parked in the spot reserved for the chief of police, where she was found smoking marijuana and ticketed again. “It was like Cheech and Chong, all the smoke coming out of the car,” said Chief of Police Bill Ricca.