Good week for:
Moving to Mars, parts of which were actually warmer this week than some parts of Canada. In Edmonton and Yellowknife, wind-chills made it feel like minus 40, compared with a balmy 9 below in Mars’s Gale Crater, as measured by NASA’s Curiosity rover.
Turning off some lights, when a Pennsylvania woman received an electric bill for $284.4 billion. “We had put up Christmas lights,” said Mary Horomanski of the erroneous bill, “and I wondered if we had put them up wrong.”
Offshoring, after a group of New Zealanders built a tiny island a hundred yards offshore on New Year’s Eve, to evade a law banning drinking in public. “They were trying to claim it was ‘international waters,’” said the local mayor, “but of course it wasn’t.”