Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Appeasement, with the unveiling of new “public urinals” on the streets of Paris to cut down on drunken men peeing in the street. The new waist-high, bright-red urinals offer little privacy but are designed “for civilizing ‘wild peeing.’”
Postmodernism, after Rudy Giuliani, President Trump’s personal attorney, declared in an interview that “truth is not truth.” Giuliani explained that if Trump’s version of events differs from that of other witnesses in the Russia investigation, it’s not possible to determine which is true, so there’s no need for his testimony.
Bribery, after two beer-truck drivers in St. Paul, Minn., managed to talk a suicidal man off the edge of a bridge by offering him a 12-pack of Coors Light. “Beer has been bringing people together for a long, long time,” said a spokesman for local police.
Bad week for:
The term ‘Mormons,’ after the new leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced church members should no longer be referred to by that popular term. “Latter-day Saints” is now preferred.
Stereotyping, after an 18-year-old Afghan refugee was denied asylum in Austria because he didn’t seem gay enough to be a victim of persecution. “Neither your gait, your behavior, or your clothing have even hinted that you could be homosexual,” officials said.
Reality, after a visitor to a Portuguese art museum fell into Anish Kapoor’s Descent Into Limbo, an 8-foot-deep hole painted with high-tech, light-repelling paint so as to appear like a black circle on solid ground. The surprised and bruised visitor is recovering.