It must be true... I read it in the tabloids
■ A Colorado woman was rushed to the hospital after she was accidentally stabbed by her dog. Celinda Haynes said that her Chesapeake Bay retriever, Mia, grabbed a paring knife from the kitchen counter in his teeth, hoping to play fetch with its owner. Haynes tried to tempt Mia to drop her sharp new toy with some doggie treats. But the dog ran for the treats with the knife in her mouth, making a 4-inch-long gash in Haynes’ arm. “We’re not charging Mia with anything, because she’s a dog,” police said.
■ A rescue pup is being hailed as Britain’s most destructive canine after it demolished a $2,600 sofa, gnawing its way down to the wooden frame and springs, in just three hours. Sharon Johnston adopted Peaches, an abandoned bichon frise–poodlebulldog cross, when the mutt was 3 days old. In the year since, the diminutive dog has caused some $6,500 worth of damage to the mom-of-two’s home, chewing up a door, a table, chairs, a lawn mower, and the expensive sofa. But Johnston isn’t angry. “As long as she’s happy then I am, too,” she said.
■ Police in Barnstable, Mass., were left scratching their heads when a British woman from Barnstaple in the U.K. called to report a car crash. Theresa Saunders had asked her smartphone’s digital voice assistant to call the Barnstaple police station, but instead it put her through to authorities in Barnstable, some 3,000 miles away. The answering officer, Mark McWilliams, did not recognize the landmarks named by Saunders and eventually realized she was calling from another continent. “Our response time,” McWilliams told Saunders, “is gonna be about six hours.”