go ninja go ninja go
July 22, 2014

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise has a long and storied history of ill-conceived rap tie-ins — but "Shell Shocked," the collaborative rap single from the upcoming Michael Bay-produced reboot of the franchise, might be the most awkward yet. If you've ever wanted to hear three grown men desperately attempt to work references to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into an otherwise generic rap anthem, look no further.

Wiz Khalifa manages to spit an entire verse without a single clear reference to the Ninja Turtles — just some generic references to saving the city and loving his brothers. Ty Dolla $ign musters a weak shout-out to cheesy pizza.

But their meager efforts pale in comparison to Juicy J's hilarious attempt to shoehorn as many Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles references in his 45-second verse. A representative sampling:

1. "You know I got your back — just like a turtle shell"

2. "Nobody do it better. All my brothers trying to get some cheddar. We all wanna cut like the Shredder."

3. "Bought the orange Lamborghini, call it Michelangelo. With the nunchuck doors, and I'm pulling up slow"

4. "All this green in my pockets, you can call it Turtle Power."

Listen to the new single below, and prepare to have "Knock knock, you about to get shell shocked" stuck in your head for the rest of the day. --Scott Meslow

hockey
8:11 a.m. ET
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The Tampa Bay Lightning bought a ticket to the Stanley Cup final with a 2-0 win over the New York Rangers in Game 7 on Friday night. After a scoreless 40 minutes in Madison Square Garden, Alex Killorn and Ondrej Palat each notched a goal.

The Lightning will face the winner of tonight's Game 7 matchup between the Anaheim Ducks and the Chicago Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup, which begins June 3. Julie Kliegman

indictments
7:39 a.m. ET
Alex Wong/Getty Images

U.S. House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) said Friday he's "shocked and saddened" by the allegations against former House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), the Associated Press reports. A federal grand jury indicted Hastert on Thursday for allegedly evading currency reporting requirements and lying to the FBI.

Sources told the Los Angeles Times the former teacher and wrestling coach has paid $1.7 million to a former male student over the last four years to conceal sexual abuse against that man. Julie Kliegman

love lockdown
May 29, 2015
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Come Monday, the city of Paris will begin removing the hundreds of thousands of "love locks" tourists affix to the Pont des Arts bridge, The Local reports. Visitors might think it's cute, but for locals, the locks are an eyesore and a nuisance.

"This phenomenon generates two problems: a lasting degradation of the heritage of Paris and also a risk to the safety of visitors, Parisians and tourists," a Paris Town Hall statement read.

The city will install glass panels in place of the locks. Last year, a portion of the bridge collapsed under the weight of the locks, which also adorn other bridges throughout the city and even the Eiffel tower. Julie Kliegman

Watch this
May 29, 2015

As part of our ongoing series on the 2016 candidates, produced in partnership with Rubin Report, The Week's Marc Ambinder and Dave Rubin concisely analyze the former Maryland governor's biggest strengths and weaknesses. Watch below:

Nailed it
May 29, 2015
Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Every nail salon in New York will be required to post a workers' bill of rights in plain view of employees and customers, The New York Times reports. The announcement comes after the newspaper highlighted widespread exploitation and abuse of manicurists, many of whom are new immigrants.

The posters Gov. Andrew Cuomo revealed Friday will be printed in 10 languages. They include information about minimum wage, tipping, safety measures, and a phone number to report violations. Officials will also hand out information cards to consumers outlining questions they should ask upon entering nail salons.

"We’re asking New Yorkers to help; we're asking New Yorkers to get involved," Cuomo said at a news conference with New York City advocate Letitia James. Julie Kliegman

Coming Soon
May 29, 2015
Facebook.com/EmpireFOX

Empire's first season aired its finale in March, and fans have been eagerly waiting to find out when they'll finally get to see all those dangling cliffhangers resolved.

Unfortunately, the season two premiere date is still pretty far away — but at last you can put it down on your calendar. Taraji P. Henson, who plays Cookie, took to Twitter to reveal that Empire will return on September 23. Set your DVRs accordingly. Scott Meslow

court reports
May 29, 2015
Spencer Platt/Getty Images

Ross William Ulbricht, 31, thec reator of black market website Silk Road, was sentenced to life in prison on Friday.

After its 2011 launch, Ulbricht ran the underground cyber-bazaar, where anonymous users used the cryptocurrency Bitcoin to purchase drugs, hacking tools, and fake identification, for about two years before he was arrested.

Ulbricht received the maximum sentence for his felony convictions of conspiracy, money laundering, and drug trafficking. Stephanie Talmadge

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