Family Feud
May 18, 2014

Jay Z and Solange went on Saturday Night Live this weekend (or at least their parody doubles did) to dispel all the rumors about their in-elevator altercation. As an edgy security guard stood by, they claimed to love each other and explained that the leaked video of their supposed fight wasn't at all what it seemed. After inserting the purported audio back onto the footage, they revealed that Solange wasn't really wailing on Jay Z: She was wailing on a spider that was climbing all over him.

Hey, at least that's not as crazy as some of the other theories out there.

Bieber Roast
1:59 a.m. ET

Justin Bieber threw some pretty good barbs of his own at his Comedy Central roast, which aired Monday night, but after sitting through an hour of mercilessness mockery, Bieber took the stage and apologized for being a jackass. "Let's get serious for a moment," he said, noting that nothing prepared him for being a teen mega-star. "There's been moments I'm really proud of and a lot of moments I look back and I’m pretty disappointed with myself for, but the things I've done don't really define who I am." Bieber sort of undercuts his perceived sincerity by licking his lips repeatedly, but his apology earns him a hearty round of applause — which he follows up with a Selena Gomez joke. You can watch some of the night's jokes at Comedy Central, and Bieber's coming-of-age speech below. —Peter Weber

Bieber Roast
1:16 a.m. ET

"I bet you're wondering why I'm here tonight," Martha Stewart said in the middle of her bit during Comedy Central's roast of Justin Bieber. But by that point, nobody was wondering. Stewart had everyone in the audience — as well as roastmaster Kevin Hart and the other objects of her barbs on stage — gasping with laughter and shock. Her best joke — no, not the one about making pot brownies with Snoop Dogg — involves both Hart and Bieber, and you can watch it below. Warning, Stewart gets a little salty at times, so probably NSFW. —Peter Weber

Fallon Games
12:23 a.m. ET

"I haven't done this since I was about 11," Helen Mirren tells Jimmy Fallon when he offers her a helium balloon to inhale from on Monday night's Tonight Show. "Welcome to The Tonight Show," Fallon responds. And so it begins, your chance to hear a proper British accent — not The Queen proper, but proper enough — say "spotted dick," among other delightful things, on television. —Peter Weber

POTUS abroad
12:05 a.m. ET
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

On Monday, the White House announced that President Obama will co-host a Global Entrepreneurship Summit in Kenya in July, his first trip to his father's homeland as president. It will be Obama's "fourth trip to sub-Saharan Africa and the most of any sitting U.S. president," note National Security Council staffers Grant Harris and Shannon Green, comparing the Kenya visit to "President Kennedy's historic visit to Ireland in 1963."

At The New York Times, Peter Baker plays up the silly number of Americans who say they believe that Obama himself was born in Kenya, rather than Hawaii. But he also adds the substantive diplomatic problem that Kenya's president has been under a legal and ethical cloud since ethnic violence after disputed 2007 elections left more than 1,200 dead and 600,000 displaced.

"Now, the case against the president, Uhuru Kenyatta, has been dropped, and the perennial talk about Mr. Obama's birth has faded in the United State," Baker concludes. "So Mr. Obama seems to have concluded that a Kenya trip is acceptable at home and abroad." Obama has visited Kenya twice before, as a young man — a visit chronicled in his 1995 memoir Dreams From My Father — and again as a U.S. senator in 2006.

This just in
March 30, 2015
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Connecticut Governor Dan Malloy on Monday signed an executive order barring state-funded travel to Indiana over the The Hoosier State's controversial new religious freedom law.

"When new laws turn back the clock on progress, we can't sit idly by," Malloy wrote on Twitter. "We are sending a message that discrimination won't be tolerated."

Seattle and San Francisco have enacted similar bans in response to the law, which critics fear would allow people and businesses to cite religious beliefs to discriminate against gays. While the federal government and nearly 20 other states have similar religious freedom laws, Indiana's goes further by saying people and businesses cannot be "substantially burdened" in the exercise of their religion by the state or other individuals; other such laws specify protection only against state encroachment on religious freedom.

Quotables
March 30, 2015
Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

With three Golden Globes, four Emmys, and a Best Actress Oscar under belt, you might think Dame Helen Mirren has reached the pinnacle of her acting career. But in a recent interview with Yahoo! Movies, Mirren set her aims even higher: the eighth installment of the so-dumb-it's-great blockbuster franchise Fast & Furious.

"My great ambition is to be in a Fast & Furious movie," said Mirren. "I so want to be a mad driver in a Fast & Furious movie. My claim to fame is I always do my own driving — I was on Top Gear, and I did [my lap] in a very good time. I keep putting it out there, and they never ask me. I'll be in Fast & Furious 8."

"I love Vin Diesel," Mirren added — hinting, we hope, at the tantalizing possibility of a May-December romance between The Queen and The Bald Guy Who Drives Fast Cars in Fast & Furious 8.

Coming Soon
March 30, 2015
Joe Raedle/Getty Images

If you live in the San Diego area, the dream of eating a McGriddle sandwich for dinner may soon be a reality.

Starting next month, McDonald's will test all-day breakfast in the San Diego area. The test won't include the full breakfast menu, though, and McDonald's hasn't yet announced which sandwiches will be available after 10:30 a.m.

Previously, McDonald's has said that its restaurants don't have enough kitchen space to serve breakfast items during lunch and dinner hours. But McDonald's executives have now told The Associated Press that customers want "foods personalized to their tastes and schedules."

A McDonald's spokesperson told CNBC that it would be "premature to speculate on any outcomes" from the test, so if you love McDonald's breakfast, keep your fingers crossed.

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