You're not freaking out, man. In what is either the research phase for an entertaining segment or a secret attempt to narc on granola-munching listeners, This American Life is asking people to submit stories about strange things they've done when high on drugs.
In a statement, the program claims it's working on a story about drug use, and more specifically on the crazy stuff people do when they're whacked out of their minds. From the show:
[W]e'd like to devote a portion of the show to a collection of shorter stories in the classic "I was so high..." genre. So these would be the kind of anecdotes you might hear at a bar or wherever you're hanging out with friends. […] The type of drug doesn't so much matter. It's not a show only about marijuana. Being drunk probably doesn't count. But we'd be open to a good anesthesia story or two. What we're not looking for is the kind of story that goes, "I was so high I thought I'd lost my phone, and searched for it for an hour before realizing it was in my pocket." [This American Life]
The show adds that it's not condoning drug use, so please don't take this as an excuse to get all hepped up on goofballs and do anything stupid. But if you do have a cool story, send it on over. It'll make for another interesting tale: "This one time, I was so high I thought the radio was talking about me."
UPDATE: An earlier version of this article mistakenly said This American Life was distributed by NPR. It is distributed by Public Radio International. Jon Terbush
U.K. Prime Minster Theresa May stressed Tuesday that the Brexit vote to leave the European Union was the "moment Britain chose to step back from the world but to build a truly global Britain." In what was her most significant speech since becoming prime minister last year, May described the nation as "proudly internationalist" and reassured that members of the EU are still "welcome" in Britain.
"We will continue to be reliable partners, willing allies and close friends," May said. "We want to buy your goods, sell you ours, trade with you as freely as possible, and work with one another to make sure we are all safer, more secure and more prosperous through continued friendship." The number of migrants, May added, will be "controlled."
— DailySunday Politics (@daily_politics) January 17, 2017
Parliament will vote on the final deal between the U.K. and the EU before it comes into effect, May went on. "When future generations look back at this time, they will judge us not only by the decision we made but what we made of that decision. They will see we shaped them a brighter future and they will know we built them a better Britain," said May.
Some critics have already expressed disappointment over May's speech: "EU citizens are living in limbo and Theresa May has done very little to reassure them today," Nicolas Hatton, the founder of the grass roots campaign group the3million told The Guardian. " We are not bargaining chips, we are human beings." Jeva Lange
Rep. Tom Price (R-Ga.), Donald Trump's nominee for health and human services secretary, invested between $1,000 and $15,000 in medical device manufacturer Zimmer Biomet last March, less than a week before introducing legislation that would greatly benefit the company, CNN reports, citing House records. Less than three months after Price introduced the HIP Act, which would have delayed implementation of a regulation to change how Medicare paid and reimbursed hip and knee implant manufacturers and providers, Zimmer Biomet's PAC sent Price's re-election committee a $1,000 check; the company's PAC had also sent Price's campaign a $1,000 check two days after he fruitlessly wrote the Medicare administrator urging him to delay implementation of the rule, CNN says.
Trump transition spokesman Phil Blando said Price wasn't aware of the transaction, apparently executed by a broker, until weeks after Price had introduced the legislation, and "any effort to connect the introduction of bipartisan legislation by Dr. Price to any campaign contribution is demonstrably false." Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) suggested that Price may have violated the 2012 STOCK Act, a law designed to combat insider trading by members of Congress with special knowledge of coming legislation. "The president-elect claims he wants to drain the swamp, but Congressman Price has spent his career filling it up," Schumer said. Last month, The Wall Street Journal reported that over the past four years, Price has traded about $300,000 in shares in health companies while pursuing legislation that could affect the companies.
Price may have had entirely pure motives in his stock transactions, but "it clearly has the appearance of using your influence as a congressman to your financial benefit," says ethics law expert Larry Noble at watchdog group the Campaign Legal Center. "When you join the government, you are held to a higher standard. And you are supposed to work for the public and not for yourself." Price will likely be asked about the Zimmer Biomet trade and other transactions at his confirmation hearing this week and next. Peter Weber
CNN's Jake Tapper explains how Trump's war on the press compares with Obama's fight against Fox News
Last week, after CNN reported that top U.S. intelligence officials had presented President-elect Donald Trump with unverified claims that Russia has compromising personal and financial material on him, Trump and his press aides attacked CNN as "fake news" and conflated its report with BuzzFeed's publication of the entire raw Russia dossier. The BuzzFeed dossier was "pretty salacious," Seth Meyers reminded CNN's Jake Tapper on Monday's Late Night, with "obviously some details that comedy shows were really happy to read," but for CNN and other news organizations, "this must be a crazy time."
Meyers noted that Tapper used to be a White House reporter like CNN's Jim Acosta, who was berated by Trump and his designated press secretary, Sean Spicer. "Do you feel as though you're under attack, being a member of the press right now?" he asked. Tapper said he's been yelled at by presidents and press secretaries from both parties, "but I've never seen the effort to delegitimize an organization for a story that you don't like that has been proven," like CNN's Trump story, 100 percent accurate. Trump "was obviously trying to get us to stop focusing on the story, and just to discredit all of us," Tapper said. "And you know, that's too bad — it's not a huge shock that he would try to do that."
Meyers asked if it is unreasonable to expect the press corps to band together to try and force Trump's administration to answer questions, and Tapper took a little walk down memory lane, to when he was a White House correspondent for ABC News. In President Obama's first term — "and I'm not saying these things are equivalent — but the Obama White House went to war against Fox News, and they tried to say that the entire organization was illegitimate," Tapper said. "And when they were doing that, I challenged them for that, specifically because it's an important principal to stand up for — we're all supposed to be in this together." If you're part of a news organization that's not CNN and Trump doesn't like your accurate story, Tapper warned, "you're next." Watch below for Tapper's impression of Obama hitting him with an Obama burn. Peter Weber
If you had Martin Luther King Jr. Day off, Stephen Colbert hopes you celebrated it the traditional way — "by sleeping in so you, too, could have a dream" — he joked at the beginning of Monday's Late Show. President-elect Donald Trump spent his day canceling a visit to the National African American Museum, Colbert noted, "although I guess in a way that might be good — the last thing we need is Trump learning more about segregation."
The big Trump news, of course, comes from his Twitter account. "Trump spent the weekend attacking civil rights icon John Lewis on Twitter," Colbert said, though "to be fair, Congressman Lewis kind of started it," telling NBC's Chuck Todd he doesn't consider Trump "a legitimate president," because Russia helped get him elected. Colbert read Trump's tweets. "Yes, well said — John Lewis is 'all talk, talk, talk," he said, "unlike a real leader like Trump, who's all tweet, tweet, tweet."
"So Trump spent the Martin Luther King weekend attacking a leader who marched and was beaten with Dr. King," Colbert said. "What's he going to do on Easter?" He imagined the Trump tweet: "Loser Jesus dead for 3 days and then we're supposed to believe he just wakes up? Fake news. I like gods who don't die. Where's the rebirth certificate?" Also: "Buddha, you're fat. You're a 6 at best."
Colbert ended by noting that the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is shutting down in May, after 146 years putting on "The Greatest Show on Earth" — and connecting that to Trump. "Apparently, the circus doesn't think it could compete against the Trump presidency," he said, poking Trump: "What with all the marriages, he does have three rings." Colbert noted the parallels between Trump and Barnum, including a late turn to politics and similarly titled books, then wrapped up: "And of course, though P.T. Barnum is famous for saying 'There's a sucker born every minute,' Donald Trump is famous for proving it." Watch below. Peter Weber
Republicans in Congress have voted to repeal the Affordable Care Act more than 60 times since Democrats enacted it, but this year they won't have President Obama's veto to keep the law in place. They have already started the process of repealing big parts of ObamaCare, Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, but President-elect Donald Trump promised over the weekend that the replacement plan will cover everybody "beautifully." Without specifics, Colbert wasn't reassured: "Oh, don't worry, if you're losing your ObamaCare, you will be beautifully covered, either by insurance or six feet of dirt."
"We know Republicans are going to replace it, and they haven't told us with what, but I think they've given us a hint," Colbert said. "And that brings us to tonight's WERD." Like Colbert's old WØRD segment, most of the jokes are a combination of the host's words and the text in the box, and Colbert walked through the upsides and downsides of replacing ObamaCare before noting tartly that Republicans forbade the Congressional Budget Office from scoring the cost — estimated at 3 million jobs and $1.5 trillion — of repealing the Affordable Care Act. "That's right, the GOP is so confident that repeal will save money, that they don't want to know if that's true," Colbert said. "And if Congress can make it illegal for us to know how much it costs to repeal ObamaCare, I think they might have stumbled on the replacement: Just make it illegal for your doctor to tell you your diagnosis." Watch below. Peter Weber
Nearly three years after Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared on its way from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing, the underwater search for the missing plane has been suspended.
The plane vanished over the Indian Ocean on March 8, 2014, with 239 people on board. "Despite every effort using the best science available, cutting edge technology, as well as modeling and advice from highly skilled professionals who are the best in their field, unfortunately, the search has not been able to locate the aircraft," Chinese, Australian, and Malaysian officials said in a statement. "The decision to suspend the underwater search has not been taken lightly nor without sadness." Last July, it was decided by Australia, China, and Malaysia that if the aircraft was not found by the time 46,000 square miles had been covered, the search would be suspended. Some wreckage has been found, including three pieces off the coast of Africa.
In a statement, Voice370, a support group for relatives of those aboard the flight, said commercial airplanes "cannot just be allowed to disappear without a trace. Stopping at this stage is nothing short of irresponsible, and betrays a shocking lack of faith in the data, tools, and recommendations of an array of official experts assembled by the authorities themselves." Catherine Garcia
Rob Schneider, star of The Hot Chick and that one Saturday Night Live sketch, thought it would be a good idea on Martin Luther King Jr. Day to explain to civil rights leader Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) how King conducted himself during the movement.
Rep. Lewis. You are a great person. But Dr. King didn't give in to his anger or his hurt. That is how he accomplished & won Civil Rights.
— Rob Schneider (@RobSchneider) January 16, 2017
"Rep. Lewis," Schneider tweeted. "You are a great person. But Dr. King didn't give in to his anger or his hurt. That is how he accomplished & won Civil Rights." Lewis told NBC News last week that because of the evidence that Russia interfered with the presidential election to boost Donald Trump, "I don't see this president-elect as a legitimate president." Trump went on to claim that Lewis' district — home to the headquarters of Delta Air Lines and the Coca-Cola Company, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and Emory University — is "crime infested," and he is "all talk, talk, talk — no action or results."
Not long after Schneider decided it was important he tell someone who worked alongside King how King acted, the pile-on began:
— Sonar Jose (@SonarJose) January 16, 2017
"At this time, id like to bring my close personal friend and confidant to the stage, Rob Schneider" pic.twitter.com/akbkHkGdzj
— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) January 16, 2017
Everyone is giving Rob Schneider a hard time for his tweet to Rep. Lewis, but look at all he's done for Asian, Latino, and Women's Rights. pic.twitter.com/xoATCTjiT8
— Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) January 16, 2017
Rob Schneider criticizing John Lewis on Martin Luther King Day is only slightly less embarrassing than his career.
— Michael Blackman (@ParaComedian09) January 17, 2017
imagine trying to explain to John Lewis who Rob Schneider is
— good ol shrill (@theshrillest) January 16, 2017
Don't feel bad for Schneider — the teasing should stop soon. Catherine Garcia
As Netflix’s “Real Rob” taught us, it’s entirely possible to just ignore Rob Schneider.
— Daniel Fienberg (@TheFienPrint) January 16, 2017