On Tuesday's Daily Show, Trevor Noah returned to Sean Hannity's newly uncovered relationship with President Trump's lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen, and he focused on Hannity's confusing and improbable explanation for why he isn't Cohen's law client, despite Cohen's assertion to the contrary.
Whatever legal advice he solicited from Cohen, "why didn't Hannity get it from his regular attorney, instead of turning to a guy who's specifically known for paying off mistresses?" Noah asked. Hannity insisted it's not what it looks like, but he fudged a bit. "Wow, he really slipped in the 'almost' there," he said. "He was, like, 'All my questions to Michael Cohen were exclusively almost real estate.' ... You can't say 'exclusively almost.' 'Exclusively almost' is the kind of phrase that makes people ask more questions. If someone tells you that they 'exclusively almost' have sex with adults, you're not hiring them to babysit your kids."
Hannity offered a slightly different explanation on his radio show, but what really got Noah is "how casually Hannity is trying to minimize his connection to Michael Cohen, like it means nothing — especially when every other day of the year, he's the guy who can bake a conspiracy cake out of nothing more than an egg and the word 'Hillary.'" He presented his own theory "to bust this whole Hannity-Michael Cohen story wide open," then illustrated Hannity's dilemma with a deleted scene "exclusively almost" from Star Wars.
Jordan Klepper had his own theory at The Opposition. Yes, Cohen is "the Atticus Finch of getting women to shut up about affairs — allegedly," he said, but if you listen to Hannity, it's clear "this isn't some tawdry woman-silencing hush deal. Hannity was just talking to Cohen about real estate. So everyone should just relax, because it's obvious what happened: Sean Hannity f---ed a house. He f---ed a house and had Michael Cohen pay it to keep quiet." He elaborated on that theory, and you can watch below. Peter Weber