The way Senate Republicans kept a tight lid on their health-care plan reminded The Daily Show's Trevor Noah of a very famous company that also likes to keep things under wraps — Apple.
It almost felt like the "launching of a new iPhone," Noah said Thursday night. "No one knew, there were leaks, we weren't quite sure. And just like Apple, today the Republicans sent out their own turtlenecked leader to reveal the bill." That would be Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who led Republicans in closed door sessions to craft the bill. The way Noah sees it, Republicans decided the right thing to do was "cut Americans' health care so we can give people tax cuts," but that's "not the point. It's like a fireman running into a burning building and saving the fire, not the baby."
The bill largely mirrors the hugely unpopular House bill, although with "dramatically deeper" cuts to Medicare. Because it takes trillions of dollars away from health care to fund tax cuts for the rich, Republicans are "taking a big chance with this bill," Noah said. It will be felt by people in every single state, including millions who voted for President Trump, and it should be easy for the Democrats to fight this, "but unfortunately, they're the Democrats," Noah said, before rolling a clip of Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) dorkily trying to convey a message. Watch the video below. Catherine Garcia
President Trump has been the subject of about twice the number of late-night jokes at this point in his presidency than his three immediate predecessors, a study published by George Mason University on Thursday reveals. The study counted jokes from shows hosted by Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, and Jimmy Fallon.
Presidents Obama, Bush, and Clinton were the butt of 936, 546, and 440 late-night jokes in the first 100 days of their presidencies, respectively. That's an average of 641 jokes. In the same time period, Trump was the subject of a whopping 1,060 quips, nearly double the average. Trump is collecting late-night zings at such record speed that he is on pace to be the subject of more jokes this year than President Clinton was in 1998, the year of the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
Of course, these numbers may speak to late night's increasing irreverence as much as they reveal a dynamic specific to our current president. We'll have to see what happens with the next president to know for certain how much of the joke increase is uniquely about Trump and, as he infamously put it, his ability to generate the best ratings since "the World Trade Center came down." Bonnie Kristian
In recent days, President Trump has made some interesting remarks about, among other things, the Civil War, Andrew Jackson, and how surprisingly difficult it is to be president, and Seth Meyers can't help but poke fun at his "childlike naiveté colliding with reality."
On Monday's Late Night, Meyers showed a montage of pre-election Trump saying multiple times how "easy" it would be to change up health care and create new jobs, followed by Trump's recent revelation that it's actually pretty hard to be president. Speaking to Reuters, Trump said he "loved my previous life," and he "thought it would be easier" to be POTUS. "You thought the presidency would be easier than being a game show host?" Meyers asked. "There's a reason Abraham Lincoln is on the $5 and not Alex Trebek."
Meyers also mocked Trump for going on a "bizarre tangent" earlier Monday regarding Jackson and his "anger" over the Civil War, which didn't take place until 16 years after his death. In an interview on SiriusXM's POTUS channel, Trump declared that "people don't ask that question, but why was there the Civil War?" Oh yes, Meyers said, "no one ever asked why was there a Civil War. And who could forget those searing letters from soldiers on the battlefield? 'Dearest Elizabeth, I write to you from the front lines, where the Civil War rages on for whatever reason. Today, I bayonetted my own brother. 'For what purpose?' he cried out, and I of course, could only respond, 'I do not know. Nobody knows.'" Find out how the "letter" ends in the video below. Catherine Garcia
Seth Meyers has questions that just aren't being asked by reporters during the daily White House press briefings — like "How long until President Trump causes the end of the world?" — so he brought Sean Spicer on his show to face a barrage of inquiries from the Late Night press corps.
Well, kind of. Thanks to the magic of editing, Meyers fired off such important questions as "Where did you guys find Steve Bannon?" with responses carefully culled from remarks Spicer has made at past briefings. (The answer, by the way, is "a system of tunnels and caves.") What really makes the video are the faces Spicer makes when Meyers "asks" certain questions and sets up dorky dad jokes for him ("How easy is it to buy lettuce in Washington?" "I think getting ahead of that could be an issue."). Watch the video — complete with Spicer's shout out to His Holiness Vladimir Putin — below. Catherine Garcia
On Monday's Late Night, Seth Meyers made it clear that as of right now, there's no "conclusive evidence connecting the dots that the Trump campaign colluded with Russia to help them win the election." But there are so many dots — with one being former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn — that we're all covered with spots. "The Trump presidency is basically a 6-year-old with chicken pox," Meyers said, "and the rest of us are so f—ing itchy."
A lot has happened since Flynn asked the FBI and House and Senate intelligence committees for immunity last week in exchange for an interview. He hasn't explained why he needs immunity, and the fact that there are mounting questions about any ties between Trump and Russia has the president "clearly bothered," Meyers said. That's why he's lashing out and tweeting about Hillary Clinton for roughly the 938,458th time and bringing back an old insult, calling Meet the Press moderator Chuck Todd "Sleepy Eyes." An incredulous Meyers could not handle the hypocrisy. "You're calling Chuck Todd 'Sleepy Eyes?'" he asked. "If the bags under your eyes were any bigger you'd have to check them at the gate. They should inflate when you're in a car accident. You always look like you drank a bottle of NyQuil in the sauna."
Meyers had more empathy for White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, who struggled to come up with a response recently when asked if Trump will release his 2016 tax returns. Spicer's answer wasn't a very good one — he said he had no information because it wasn't Tax Day yet and he was more concerned about getting his own taxes done — but it was enough for Meyers to feel "almost bad" for him. "You know that moment your girlfriend sees a text on your phone and says, 'Who's Lisa?'" Meyers asked. "That moment is his whole life." Watch the video below. Catherine Garcia
Seth Meyers is trying to get to the bottom of the latest Washington mystery: Is Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) — the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, a former member of President Trump's transition team, and someone who "looks like every guy you don't remember meeting" — investigating Trump or working with him?
On Tuesday's Late Night, Meyers went over Nunes' past week, which involved him claiming to have seen evidence that communications involving people close to Trump were accidentally picked up by surveillance, telling Trump about it at the White House, and not sharing the information with his fellow committee members. Since his first solo press conference, additional bizarre details have come to light, like Nunes receiving a mysterious message while in a car with a staffer, then bailing for an Uber and vanishing into the night, leading Meyers to declare, "This whole thing is starting to turn into an episode of Dateline."
The public doesn't know what evidence was so explosive Nunes had to ditch one moving vehicle for another, but CNN reported that a Republican briefed on what Nunes has seen said it's "almost like the kind of trivia you would pick up" during a casual conversation, like where Trump was having dinner. "Nunes has been running around D.C. like he's James Bond just to find out where Trump had dinner? That surveillance feed must have been pretty boring," Meyers said, before slipping into his Trump-at-a-KFC impersonation: "'I'll have the 12-piece bucket, extra crispy, in fact it should be the same color as my skin. Thank you. I hope this isn't being tapped.'" Watch the video below, but be warned: It will probably leave you with more questions than answers. Catherine Garcia
You don't need to be privy to any surreptitiously gathered information to know that President Trump isn't calling up former President Barack Obama to shoot the breeze, but on Tuesday's Conan, viewers were treated to a taste of what those conversations might sound like. Conan's Trump wanted to talk about the wiretapping charges, his belief that "two crazies multiplied together cancel each other out," and his decision not to get a dog (why bother when you have Sean Spicer?), while Conan's Obama just really wanted to get off the phone. The faux Trump did come up with one pretty good idea — after declaring that Obama is his "rival," Trump suggests the two collaborate on a movie about frenemies called Wacko Donny and the Bar. Watch the video below. Catherine Garcia
You'd think that Jimmy Fallon and Neil Diamond might make a formidable pair, but on Tuesday's Tonight Show, they were no match for the "Password" power team of Natalie Portman and J.J. Abrams. The motley collection of musician, actor, director, and late-night host took turns trying to get their partner to guess a word using another word, and other than the first one — which Diamond flubbed — the words were not easy. Watch Team Brooklyn and Team Long Island face off below. Peter Weber