Trevor Noah LOLs at Steven Mnuchin, his comically 'out of touch' wife, and his boss Trump's tax plan
President Trump hasn't accomplished many of his goals yet, but the man steering his next big push, tax reform, is Treasury Secretary "and mildly satisfied LensCrafters customer" Steven Mnuchin, Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. He started his Mnuchin "profile in tremendousness" by explaining how a Goldman Sachs alumnus turned Hollywood producer and Democratic donor ended up on Trump's team. (Casually.) "Mnuchin may not have a a particularly impressive political resume, but you should see his IMDB page," Noah said. Only now he's less interested in producing Batman movies and more geared up to produce tax cuts for rich people like himself.
But you probably haven't heard Mnuchin's name mentioned in regards to tax cuts so much as his request for taxpayers to plunk down $25,000 an hour for a government jet to whisk him and his third wife, Louise Linton, off to their honeymoon in Europe, Noah said, running through that flap and an earlier one involving Linton and a government jet. "Seriously, these two are both so out of touch, it's almost beautiful," he said. "I'm so glad that they found each other. I just wish Mnuchin hadn't also found this guy," Trump, "because if you think these two are going to take care of everyday Americans, I've got one word for you: LOL." That didn't sound quite right, so he called out The Daily Show's "mean girl translator" to do it right. Watch below. Peter Weber
Trevor Noah puzzles over Trump's shifting border wall, DACA stances, decides he's bipartisan after all
After President Trump made a debt-ceiling deal with Democrats last week, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders praised his bipartisanship. "Wow, one deal, now he's Mr. Bipartisan?" Trevor Noah mused on Thursday's Daily Show. "You can't call someone a philanthropist just because they toss a quarter at a homeless person." Still, Trump was "so turned on by all of the positive press," he said, the president gave bipartisanship another go on Wednesday.
Trump, the "master negotiator" didn't "just give in to the Democrats" on DACA and not funding his border wall at Wednesday's night's dinner, "he came out sounding like they converted him," Noah said. So DACA stays, the wall doesn't, everyone's happy, he added. "Well, except for all the people who voted for him."
Trump must have noticed the outrage, because he spent all day trying to assure his supporters, not necessarily cogently. "There is an enormous wall between me and what President Trump just said," Noah said. "He sounded less like a president and more like a general contractor who's missed every deadline. Okay, from what I gather, there is no wall, but he's renovating a wall that, when complete, will become a fence, and then somebody else will pay for it?" he said, taking a stab. "I guess in many ways, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is right about Trump being bipartisan, because both sides of the country want to impeach his ass." Watch below. Peter Weber
The Miss America pageant was on Sunday — congratulations, Cara Mund — and Trevor Noah and Michelle Wolf had some thoughts about it on Tuesday's Daily Show. Wolf said she's actually a fan of beauty pageants, but found the list of qualifications too daunting to ever participate. In fact, "it's actually easier to become president than it is to become Miss America," she said. It's not just that presidents only have to be 35 and born in the U.S. — Miss America contestants also have to be talented, beautiful, and answer hard questions. They played the answer from Miss Texas about President Trump's response to the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville.
"How crazy is that?" Wolf said. "It took the president four days and three tries to give a sh---y answer to that question, and Miss Texas nailed it in 20 seconds. This is how little faith America has in its women: They have to be prettier, more talented, and smarter than the president just to get the job of waving for a year. She's going to be stuck in a parade, like, 'Glad I solved that Nazi problem. They won't even let me drive.'" She and Noah then compared Trump's answers on the Paris climate agreement and the Russia collusion investigation with those of Miss America contestants. Noah said he was impressed. "Well yeah, of course," Wolf deadpanned. "She knows that if she wins this contest, she'll be representing America to the world. That's a big responsibility."
Wolf had some nicer things to say about Trump, too. "I just figured something out," she said. "Remember how Donald Trump said he used to sneak into pageant dressing rooms? Maybe he wasn't being creepy, maybe he just needed answers." Watch. Peter Weber
Trevor Noah started Wednesday's Daily Show with a look at the all the destruction from "once in a lifetime" Hurricane Irma, following the historic devastation of Hurricane Harvey, and imagined a scenario in which ISIS could convince Republicans that human-influenced climate change is real. "But before America deals with this potential disaster, unfortunately it has to finish dealing with its current disaster," Harvey, and that involves Congress approving federal spending. As of Wednesday morning, it looked likely that dysfunctional Washington would default on its debt and shut down the government instead.
"But then, at roughly 12:30 p.m. EDT, a true miracle took place," Noah said. "The thing you would never expect to happen actually happened: Donald Trump made a deal." Not only that, he made a deal with the Democrats. "You have to admit that is super weird," he said. Republicans thought so, too, and they were furious, but enough of them will go along with it to give America a breather. "It took a hurricane to keep the government open — and staying open is square one, by the way," Noah said.
But they did it. The bad news is that it took a hurricane to make it happen, Noah said. "The good news is that there's more hurricanes coming. The bad news is that they're hurricanes. Like, at this rate, Americans are going to be hoping for natural disasters, just so their government gets s--t done. Like, who knows? In the future, instead of getting the news from the news, Americans might just be watching the weather." He imagined what such a news-weather hybrid might look like, with an assist from Michael Kosta. Watch below. Peter Weber
On Thursday's Daily Show, Trevor Noah took a hard look at a far-left group that's getting a lot of press these days. "Anti-fascist, 'antifa' — first of all, that's a great name," he began. "It's short, it's punchy — excuse the pun — and most importantly, you don't need to know how to spell 'fascist.'" But the group isn't monolithic. "Because antifa has no defined leadership, there's no clear way to know what they're actually meant to do, and not do," he said. Some of them are focused on identifying neo-Nazis so they can be held accountable later, others view antifa as a form of cosplay mixed with righteous indignation about the alt-right claiming ownership of anime and obscure Japanese video games.
There's another faction that just wants to "burn it all down," and also smash Starbucks windows, Noah said, and he sadly shook his head at their professed belief that breaking stuff would convince anyone that fascism is bad. "But the part that's been causing the most headaches is the one that's hitting people in the head," he said, circling back to last weekend's violence at an otherwise peaceful anti-racism protest in Berkeley.
"You see, now here's the real problem," Noah said. "It doesn't matter what your 'noble goal' may be, it doesn't matter what you say you're fighting for. When people see that, all they think is, 'Oh s--t, it's vegan ISIS.'" When this antifa bloc thinks "you're punching Nazis, you don't realize that you're also punching your cause," he said, and if they do realize that and just want the attention, Fox News can't get enough. "Because your opponents, they'll just use every violent incident to discredit your entire movement," Noah said, "and they make it seem like, in a world where white supremacists have a friend in the White House, the real problem is you guys." Watch below. Peter Weber
On Wednesday, White House employee Ivanka Trump stood behind the decision by her father, President Trump, to scrap a rule that would have made larger companies inform the federal government how much they pay workers, broken down by gender and race, despite her professed support for pay equality. On Wednesday's Daily Show, Trevor Noah made a Titanic joke: "Wow, Ivanka, really? She just treated equal pay the way Rose treated Jack."
Noah brought out The Daily Show's "resident Ivanka Trump expert," Michelle Wolf, who took issue with Noah's shock that Ivanka supports Trump's equal-pay rollback. "I'm so sick of everyone thinking Ivanka is the voice of reason," she said. "She could join ISIS and everyone would be like, 'Thank god she's there — she's gonna help ISIS get maternity leave.'" Wolf explained why she thinks Ivanka Trump's actions aren't matching her words ("she lies"), then gave her theory on why the first daughter is not moderating President Trump's conservative impulses: "Ivanka's playing both sides. She wants the credit for influencing her dad, but she doesn't want to get blamed for anything he does. And that's what Trumps do. They want all of the credit and none of the blame. You just don't see it with Ivanka because she's kind of pretty. If Eric was doing this s--t, we'd all see right through it."
She had a solution for anyone confused by Ivanka Trump's mixed signals, too. Watch below. Peter Weber
On Wednesday's Daily Show, Trevor Noah and his team took an ambitious stab at solving the intractable problem of America's Confederate monuments, which flared up again after the violent white nationalist march in Charlottesville and hasn't gone away. Noah first brought out Senior Race Relations Correspondent Hasan Minhaj, who suggested getting rid of all statues — all of them, plus all images of people and animals. "Isn't that Islam?" Noah asked. "Hasan, I told you once, and I'll tell you again — we are not doing Sharia Law." "No pressure, baby," Minaj said. "I'm just saying, you've got a statue issue and we've got a solution."
Next up was Roy Wood Jr., whose first idea was to just get rid of racism. Noah applauded the idea, but asked if he had any more practical solutions. After dismissing the idea that the statues are about remembering the Civil War, Wood got behind Charlottesville's solution of covering the Confederate monuments with black tarps, especially when Noah compared that to carrying 40s of malt liquor in paper bags. "With a paper bag, at least you're acknowledging that you're doing something wrong," Wood noted.
Wood and Noah eventually agreed on adding bits of black culture to the Confederate statues, but before that, Wood got a little serious. "Look, I know y'all want to keep your statues, but here's the thing: Slavery is a trauma that black people to this day are still dealing with," he said. "To have to look at those statues ... basically, it's like if a woman got out of an abusive relationship and then she had to keep pictures of her ex up in her house to remember the time. Like, no, I don't need pictures to remember pain." So, LeBron dunking on Stonewall Jackson? Peter Weber
Trevor Noah whistles at the new Trump Russia emails, says Felix Sater may be Trump's 'broken tail light'
Congress and Special Counsel Robert Mueller are both investigating President Trump's ties to Russia in connection with suspected election meddling, and "the big question in all of this is: What was the connection between Donald Trump and the Russian government?" Trevor Noah said on Tuesday's Daily Show. So far, Trump's answer has always been that there's no connection, no business, no contact with Russia. Well, that hasn't held up to scrutiny very well, Noah said. Emails turned over to Congress by Trump's personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, show that Trump secretly signed a letter of intent to build the tallest building in the world in Moscow, during the presidential campaign.
"How can one person lie so big?" Noah asked. "It's like if your friend said that they had never heard of Mumford and Sons, and then one day you see the album cover, and you're like, 'Wait a minute — you're Mumford!'" Anyway, "now it's confirmed: Yes, during the campaign, Donald Trump totally had connections to Russia," Noah said. "The remaining question is, were those connections strictly business, or were they getting out on the vote-y vote-y action?" While that isn't clear yet, the men Trump signed the Russia deal with "aren't exactly helping his case," he said, pointing specifically at Felix Sater, the apparent middle man.
Trump originally denied any connection with Sater, even though the Russian-born ex-con had gold-embossed Trump Organization business cards identifying him as Trump's senior adviser, but the real story "is what the shady guy was saying," Noah said, showing some of Sater's emails. "I love how obvious all the Trump people were in their collusion emails." How big a deal will this turn out to be? Nobody knows, but Mueller certainly has some big leads to pursue now. "This buddy-boy emails may not be the smoking gun for Trump, but what it could end up being is the broken tail light," Noah said, "the thing that gives law enforcement the excuse they need to look into Trump's trunk." Watch below. Peter Weber