In February, actor Harrison Ford had a bit of a mix-up at John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California, landing his private plane on the taxiway instead of the runway and narrowly missing a loaded passenger plane. The audio of Ford's call to air-traffic control has been released, and it's classic Harrison Ford.
"I'm the schmuck that landed on the taxiway," he said, explaining that he had been "distracted" by an airliner in movement and "the big turbulence" from a landing Airbus. "Okay, so can I just get your name and your pilot's license?" the unidentified air-traffic controller asked. "The name is Harrison Ford," Ford said. "Okay," the controller said, nonchalantly. Ford explained that he had to find his license in his backpack. "Okay, take your time, no big deal," the air-traffic controller said. "Well, it's a big deal for me," Ford said.
This wasn't Ford's first brush with aviation disaster. But the 74-year-old flight enthusiast has had more hits than misses, earning him honors as a Living Legend of Aviation from the Kiddie Hawk Air Academy. Peter Weber
Somebody, at some point, must have told former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee that he was funny. Maybe they were right, Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday's Kimmel Live. Huckabee writes daily topical jokes on Twitter, "but like a lot of great comedy voices, not everyone 'gets it,'" Kimmel said. "Some people have been posting tweets criticizing his joke-writing," drawing this retort from Huckabee:
I Tweet for my amusement and your amazement. To haters trolls and humorless people-you really shouldn't follow me. It's way over your head!
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) March 21, 2017
"Maybe he's right, maybe these jokes are over our heads," Kimmel said. "Maybe what Mike Huckabee needs is a stronger presentation — jokes don't always have the same punch when you read them to yourself." He turned the show over to comedian Patton Oswalt who, maybe, did his best with the material he was handed. Watch below. Peter Weber
On Tuesday, during the second day of his confirmation hearings before the Senate, prospective Supreme Court justice Neil Gorsuch firmly denied he'd ever indicated to President Trump that he would overturn the landmark Roe v. Wade decision once he got to the bench. "That's not what judges do," Gorsuch stated. His answer came in response to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), who asked Gorsuch what his response to the president would have been if Trump had asked for such a guarantee:
— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 21, 2017
Earlier in the hearing, Gorsuch was questioned on the iconic abortion rights ruling by Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.). Feinstein referred to the Roe ruling as having "super precedent," and noted Trump had publicly stated he'd appoint to the vacant Supreme Court seat someone who would overturn the ruling. Gorsuch responded by acknowledging Roe has "been reaffirmed many times," and offered an extended explanation of the importance of precedent in the law, which you can watch below. Kimberly Alters
— Senate Judiciary Dem (@JudiciaryDems) March 21, 2017
CNN's Jake Tapper berates President Trump over wiretap claims: 'Does smearing British intelligence make your family more safe?'
CNN's Jake Tapper tore into President Trump on Friday after Trump defended his administration's wiretapping claims at a joint press conference with German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Though Trump himself tweeted the baseless claim that former President Barack Obama wiretapped his phones at Trump Tower during the presidential election — and White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer then rehashed the unfounded claims that British spy agency GCHQ was involved — Trump on Friday blamed Fox News for spreading the allegations. "We said nothing. All we did was quote a very talented legal mind," Trump said, referring to former judge Andrew Napolitano, who suggested on Fox News that Obama "used" GCHQ to get intelligence on Trump.
"In a fevered effort to try to force this outlandish claim into something remotely resembling — passably, perhaps, maybe — the truth, the White House appears actually willing to repeat another wild accusation that potentially could alienate our nation's most important ally," Tapper said, referring to Britain. A GCHQ spokesperson on Friday said the allegation repeated by Spicer is "utterly ridiculous."
"Does smearing British intelligence make your family more safe? No? So why is the White House doing it?" Tapper said. "What is the White House defending here? Because it damn sure isn't national security, or American credibility before the world." Watch the clip below. Becca Stanek
— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) March 17, 2017
Rachel Maddow's big (purported) scoop on President Trump's 2005 tax returns on MSNBC Tuesday night has been widely pilloried as an over-hyped nothingburger that probably, on net, helped Trump, but she was also mocked for her long, digressive introduction to the two pages of documents and the man who got them in the mail, investigative reporter and tax specialist David Cay Johnson. On Wednesday's Late Show, Stephen Colbert took his whack, sans glasses but with what looks like a touch of eye shadow and a Maddow-esque shirt-and-jacket outfit. He never mentioned Maddow or MSNBC, but he didn't need to. Watch his shocking unveiling of a very old joke below. Peter Weber
On Sunday, the NCAA unveiled its March Madness brackets — and on Monday's Late Show, Stephen Colbert's writers dreamed up a scenario where Russia tipped the scales. "The numbers and stats have been crunched, the RPIs have been analyzed, and the results are all stored on a highly secure server that's impossible to hack," said CBS Selection Show anchor "Gary Nanafanafoferry." The overall No. 1 seed is Villanova, the defending champions, announced co-anchor "Larry Boberry." "They will be going up against the No. 9 seed — and this is a surprise — the Russian army." "I did not see that coming," said Nanafanafoferrry, staying in sportscaster character.
"I believe this will be the first time a foreign army will be competing in this tournament," Boberry deadpanned. "The Wildcats will have their work cut out for them, because it will be five players against 850,000 battle-tested soldiers." "Not to mention the Russian army has a great defense, and also nuclear weapons," Nanafanafoferrry replied, suggesting you might want to put the Red Army in the Final Four on your own office-pool bracket.
If that whetted your appetite for Russian hacking humor, Colbert fake-interviewed notorious Russian election hacker "Guccifer 2.0" later in the show about his texting relationship with Trump confidante Roger Stone. Watch below. Peter Weber
Rep. Steve King pauses when asked if a Muslim American, an Italian American, and a German American are equal: 'They contribute differently'
Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) refused to back down from his controversial tweet declaring "we can't restore our civilization with somebody else's babies," despite being given ample opportunity to do so Monday morning on CNN's New Day. "What did you mean?" CNN's Chris Cuomo asked King. "I meant exactly what I said," King said, explaining that keeping the birth rate up is the best way to "strengthen your culture" and "way of life." He seemed baffled as to why "half the liberals" got up and left the room when he gave a speech on the topic over the weekend.
"Congressman, if you suggest that somebody's else's babies shouldn't be welcomed in a country, you seem inherently divisive. That's why I keep asking you, what was your intention with this?" Cuomo said. But King insisted he'd never said that, and that he was simply "a champion for Western civilization" who took issue with immigrants' refusal to assimilate.
Cuomo tried again. "Either a Muslim American, an Italian American, an Irish-Scotch-German American — which is what your roots are — either those are all equal things or they are not. What is your answer?" Cuomo asked. King paused. "They contribute differently to our culture and civilization," King said, noting Muslim extremists.
When Cuomo asked King to clarify once more, King offered a bit more explanation. "Certain groups of people will do more from a productive side than other groups of people will. That's just a statistical fact," King said, insisting "it's about culture," not race.
Watch the interview below. Becca Stanek
— New Day (@NewDay) March 13, 2017
In a real-life version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, a seemingly ordinary rabbit's hole in Shropshire, England, led a curious photographer to a 700-year-old chain of caves that some people believe were carved out by the Knights Templar, The Independent reports.
— 9GAG (@9GAG) March 9, 2017
While the whereabouts of the "grotto" had previously been recorded by Historic England, the chambers were long sealed off due to rumors that trespassers would break in for "black magic" rituals. Photographer Michael Scott rediscovered the caves and photographed them, although some of the chambers were so small that they could only be accessed by crawling on hands and knees.
"I traipsed over a field to find it, but if you didn't know it was there you would just walk right past it," said Scott. "Considering how long it's been there it's in amazing condition, it's like an underground temple."
Some historians say the caves are too newly constructed to have been carved out by a medieval knights' order, but the chambers' origins and purpose are still very uncertain.
Scott is likely not the only person to have found himself attracted to the caves, either. "In 2012, it was reported that the owners of the caves closed them to people wanting to visit after they found they had been filled with candles, graffiti, and rubbish," writes The Shropshire Star. "The entrance to the caves was sealed up in attempt to keep the trespassers at bay. There are rumors that the caves have also been visited by pagans and druids wanting to hold ceremonies, and are popular at solstice and Halloween."
Explore the caves below. Jeva Lange