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July 20, 2018
Noam Galai/Getty Images for CATS

No one knows why Cats was able to rise from nightmare fodder to Broadway legend. Nevertheless, nearly four decades after it should've died, the disturbing production is hitting the big screen.

A movie adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's implausible hit is set to start filming in Britain this November, Variety reports. And it's not some low-budget, straight-to-Netflix production. Talented famous people Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellan, James Corden, and Taylor Swift have all been cast as cats.

Hudson is the only cast member whose fursona has been confirmed, per Variety. She'll play Grizabella, a cat who's been exiled by the Jellicle Cat clan, just as we all wish to be. McKellan will likely play the wizened Old Deuteronomy, sources tell The Hollywood Reporter. And cat lady turned actual cat Swift will probably be the flirtatious Bombalurina, which isn't a surprise the more you think about it. James Corden hasn't been connected with an oddly named cat yet, but he uncomfortably channeled one of Webber's feline roles on his Late Late Show last month and can leave it at that.

The King's Speech director Tom Hooper will direct, and Billy Elliot writer Lee Hall has already adapted the show for the big screen, shrinking chances of preventing its existence even further.

The only upside to this adaptation seems to be the promise of Hudson belting the show's noteworthy track "Memory." Listen to it on a video-less cast recording and let the rest of this show fade like the moonlight. Kathryn Krawczyk