Feature

United Kingdom: A quiet town defiled by sex

Straight and gay couples alike flock here, not to see our 12th-century church, but to mate in the open air in broad daylight, said Camilla Palmer in The Observer.

Camilla PalmerThe Observer

I’ve had it with people having sex right outside my house, said Camilla Palmer. The fields around my village of Puttenham have become notorious as a site for “dogging,” or outdoor sex. Thanks to the Internet, everyone in Britain knows of our prime locale less than an hour from London and right by a highway rest stop with plenty of parking.

Straight and gay couples alike flock here, not to see our 12th-century church, but to mate in the open air in broad daylight. Sure, if you don’t live here, the problem sounds hilarious. But we locals are “fed up with tripping over condoms, sex toys, and the people using them.” How would you like it if the countryside around your home were littered with soiled porn magazines? And we’re afraid for our children. The sex fields are just a few hundred yards from the village playground and elementary school. “A simple game of hide and seek is unthinkable.”

The police can’t help, since public sex is not a crime. So the city council is considering taking the “farcical” step of stationing livestock in the field. Perhaps a roll in the hay won’t seem so fun if you end up rolling in a cow patty.

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