Feature

Canada: A goose by any other name

If these pesky birds lose the Canadian label, perhaps then we can “just get over it and start culling flocks wherever we find them,” said Connie Woodcock in The Toronto Sun.

Connie WoodcockThe Toronto Sun

Canadians are too squeamish about killing Canada geese, said Connie Woodcock. The birds are a menace, fouling waterways with prodigious amounts of green poop. Indeed, “a single adult goose defecates once every seven minutes and can unload more than 2 pounds of poop in a single day.” And as their populations have exploded, they have become a growing threat to air safety, too. In the U.S., they’re facing the problem: Many states have extended the hunting season and raised the bag limit, and in some areas, “goose police” have descended on parks “with a portable gas chamber” to thin out the flocks.

But here in Canada, we have trouble getting past the name. It’s the Canada goose, after all. “It makes us a little queasy thinking about killing them, especially since many people incorrectly believe they’re our national bird.” That’s why we should start calling them the “cackling goose”—which was once their name anyway. If these pesky birds lose the Canadian label, perhaps then we can “just get over it and start culling flocks wherever we find them.”

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