Bad week for:
Grand theft avocado, after three California men were charged with stealing $300,000 worth of avocados from the produce plant where they worked. “Everybody loves avocados,” a Ventura County sheriff said. “We take these kinds of threats seriously.”
A side of fries, after researchers in Italy revealed that study subjects who ate french fries two or more times per week were at double the risk of an early death compared with those who didn’t. “The frequent consumption of fried potatoes appears to be associated with an increased mortality risk,” the researchers concluded.
History lessons, after President Trump boasted about the U.S.’s construction of the Panama Canal during an Oval Office meeting with Panamanian President Juan Carlos Varela. “I think we did a good job building it, right?” Trump said, prompting Varela to respond, “Yeah, 100 years ago.”