It must be true... I read it in the tabloids
▪ A drunk and hungry South Carolina man cooked up an early-morning feast at a Waffle House after finding the restaurant’s sole employee asleep in a booth. Alex Bowen turned up at the eatery following a night on the town, and rather than wake the napping worker, he decided to jump into the kitchen. “I got hot on the grill with a double Texas bacon cheesesteak with extra pickles,” he said. Bowen snapped selfies as he cooked and ate, and cleaned the grill before leaving. Waffle House said it didn’t approve of customers making their own meals, but added that Bowen clearly “has some cooking skills.”
▪ An inebriated opossum was sent to sober up at a Florida wildlife center after it broke into a liquor store and drank a small bottle of bourbon. A store employee found the disoriented critter next to the empty bottle of booze, which it had apparently knocked over and cracked open. The juvenile female was taken to the Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge, where a volunteer noted the animal looked unusually pale and “definitely wasn’t acting normally.” The opossum was given lots of fluids and released when she’d fully recovered from her hangover.
▪ Residents of an Irish village claim that fumes from a nearby Viagra factory make the locals unusually frisky. People in Ringaskiddy claim that their sex lives have improved since production of the erectile dysfunction drug began locally in 1998. “One whiff and you’re stiff,” local residents are fond of saying. The locals attribute a baby boom in the early 2000s to the factory, and insist the vapors are even affecting the village’s dogs, which they say “walk around in a state of sexual excitement.”