It must be true...
I read it in the tabloids
President Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un were thrown out of the Winter Olympics opening ceremony last week. At least that’s how it looked, but the pair were in fact impersonators who had sneaked into the stands at Pyeongchang, where they boasted to onlookers about a diplomatic breakthrough. “Both of our buttons are very big,” said the fake Kim, who had the tyrant’s signature haircut. “We both agree on that.” Security quickly escorted the doppelgängers from the stadium. “Doesn’t everyone want peace?” the Kim look-alike asked as he was hustled away.
Mail thieves who snatched a package from a California home last week may have had an unpleasant surprise when they opened the box, which contained 500 live cockroaches. Entomologist Rosalinda Vizina had ordered the bugs to help with her research. But thieves looking for valuables smashed open her mailbox and grabbed the special delivery. “I feel a little bad for the roaches in case they got smushed or tossed,” said Vizina. “For the thieves, I hope they went everywhere.”
A Minnesota man who allegedly stole a car from outside a Walmart was arrested after he called the owner for help in starting the vehicle. Police said Edward Leroy Wilson slipped into the Jeep Grand Cherokee when its owner started the car remotely from inside the store. He sped off in the Jeep but found he couldn’t restart it after parking. So Wilson called the owner and, claiming to work for a glass repair shop, asked her to send someone to get the car running. Wilson was arrested soon after; he told officers that “he knew that it was not a good idea to get in the vehicle.”