It must be true...
I read it in the tabloids
A Wisconsin cow has been judged the most perfect specimen of her species on Earth. Musqie Iatola Martha, a 6-year-old Jersey, has won best in show at numerous international cattle contests, impressing judges with her flawless udders, legs, and bone structure. Now she has been awarded the ultimate prize: a rare EX-97 score from the American Jersey Cattle Association, the highest possible ranking given out by the organization. “This might sound strange to many people,” says Jim Ostrom, one of Martha’s owners, “but 30 or 40 years from now we’ll still be talking about her.”
A New Jersey man who went on a drunken bender with friends in West Virginia ordered an Uber ride all the way home—and was hit with a bill for $1,635.93. After spending the day drinking with buddies at West Virginia University, Kenneth Bachman, 20, says he remembers nothing except the Uber driver waking him up and telling him he was an hour from New Jersey. “That’s crazy,” he told the driver. “Why did you agree to take me to New Jersey from West Virginia?” Bachman nonetheless paid for the five-hour, 300-mile ride, and gave the driver a five-star rating on Uber.
An Indonesian boy who was rushed to the hospital with stomach pains laid an egg in front of stunned doctors. Akmal, 14, and his family weren’t surprised by the bizarre scene, claiming he had laid 20 eggs in the past two years. “I cracked the first egg,” said Akmal’s father, Rusli, “and its content was all yellow, no white.” Skeptical doctors suspect the boy has been shoving eggs up his backside, noting that “scientifically, chicken eggs cannot form inside the human body.”