Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Ten-mile runs, after the Army said it may extend Basic Training by two weeks, to cope with an influx of flabby, unfit recruits. Officials said the recruits were so out of shape and undisciplined that trainers and dieticians might be posted to active units abroad.
Lou Dobbs, with the news that President Trump is so enamored of the firebrand populist Fox Business cable star that he patches him through on speakerphone to meetings of Cabinet members and senior aides. Trump “cherishes Lou,” said a White House official.
Manual transmission, after two Florida boys, ages 12 and 14, tried to steal a Domino’s truck while the driver was delivering a pizza, only to be foiled by their lack of stick-shift experience. “When they go back to get the first gear, they cannot drive,” recounted driver Javier Ortez.
Bad week for:
Parrish, Ala., where a trainload of 10 million pounds of sewage sludge from New York City has been stalled for the past six weeks as a legal battle rages over where it will wind up, filling the town with an overpowering stench. “We didn’t produce it,” said Mayor Heather Hall. “We don’t want it here.”
Diversity, with the release of the official Spring 2018 White House intern photograph. Of the 91 interns posing with a beaming President Trump, only three appear to be nonwhite.
Kellyanne Conway, after author Ronald Kessler claimed the senior aide is the “No. 1 leaker” in the White House. In one recent interview for his pro-Trump book, Kessler said, Conway forgot she was on the record and “lit into” Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.