Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Primate grooming, when President Trump plucked what he called a speck of “dandruff” from the shoulder of visiting French President Emmanuel Macron. “We have to make him perfect,” said Trump, while Macron grinned awkwardly.
Juvenile astronomy jokes, with the announcement by planetary scientists that Uranus smells. The planet’s atmosphere, scientists say, is filled with hydrogen sulfide, the gas that gives rotten eggs and flatulence a distinctive odor.
Legal corruption, after Trump administration official Mick Mulvaney urged bank executives to increase their donations to secure favorable legislation. “If you’re a lobbyist who never gave us money, I didn’t talk to you,” Mulvaney said of his own time in Congress.
Bad week for:
Illegal corruption, after former public employee Gilberto Escamilla, 53, of San Antonio, was sentenced to 50 years in prison, for using taxpayer funds to buy $1.25 million worth of fajitas over nine years, which he resold for profit. “It started small and got bigger and out of control,” Escamilla explained.
Leaving the driving to us, when a Greyhound bus left Cleveland bound for New York City and ended up, seven hours later, after a series of wrong turns and mechanical problems, in Toledo, which is in the opposite direction.
Smuggling, after a Colorado woman was fined $500 because she took an apple from an in-flight meal into the U.S. The Customs officer “asked me if my trip to Paris was expensive,” said Cynthia Tadlock. “Then he said, ‘It’s about to get a lot more expensive.’”