Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Miracles, after two women in a Lexus SUV survived a 300-foot plunge off a cliff in California. The vehicle cartwheeled down the cliff, then landed atop a rock in the deep Russian River, enabling the occupants to scramble to safety.
Fine motor control, after 600 German firefighters attended a “Mechanical Failures” seminar on the safe removal of rings, plugs, bottles, and other objects from the private parts of fetishists who run into difficulties. “The training is not fun for us,” said firefighter Matthias Lehnigk.
Trolling, when Hillary Clinton whipped out a traditional Russian “ushanka” hat during an address to students at Yale University. “I mean, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” Clinton told the cheering crowd, adding, “No, I’m not over it.”
Bad week for:
Lotharios, with the passing of a new French law under which men can be fined up to $880 if they whistle at or make lewd comments to women in the street.
Renunciation, after a Buddhist monk in Japan sued his monastery for making him work too many hours. Monks have long been expected to endure hardship on the road to enlightenment, the plaintiff’s lawyer acknowledged, but “such a notion is outdated.”
Basement dwellers, after New York’s state Supreme Court ordered a 30-year-old man to move out of his parents’ home. Michael Rotondo, 30, had ignored multiple eviction notices from his parents, as well as their friendly advice: “There are jobs available even for those with a poor work history like you—get one.”