Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Radical thrift, after a Canadian man got a doctor’s note legally changing his gender to female solely to lower his car insurance bill by $846 per year. “I didn’t feel like getting screwed over anymore,” explained the person, who still identifies as male.
Liberals, after Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 85, said, “I think I have about at least five more years” before she considers retiring.
Wannabes, after Wallace the Great, an 11-year-old mule, stunned the equestrian world by winning a U.K. dressage competition. A groundswell of public support persuaded British Dressage to change its rules to allow Wallace to compete. “He’s made history for mules,” said Wallace’s trainer.
Bad week for:
Wannabes, amid rising suspicions that a “zebra” at a zoo in Cairo is just a donkey crudely painted with wobbly stripes that became blurry in the heat. “The zebra is real and not painted,” insisted zoo official Mohammed Sultan.
Chicagoans, who have the ugliest accent in the nation, according to a new YouGov poll. Texans were rated as having the most attractive accent, while Bostonians’ accent was deemed strongest.
Political discourse, after Leslie Cockburn, a Virginia Democratic congressional candidate, accused her Republican opponent, Denver Riggleman, of being “a devotee of Bigfoot erotica.” Riggleman says he put images of a nude, well-endowed Bigfoot on Instagram as “parody.”