It must be true…
I read it in the tabloids
A Rhode Island town has been terrorized for six months by a belligerent wild turkey. Originally, three turkeys stood guard outside Johnston’s town hall and began rushing at anyone who tried to go inside. “They were scaring people away,” said Mayor Joseph Polisena. Two of the fowl were caught and released elsewhere, but one has learned to recognize the animal control officers’ car, and has raced away from every capture attempt for six months. Meanwhile, he has stopped traffic, trapped people in their cars with vicious pecking, and chased pedestrians down the street. “This guy, he’s like Al Capone and John Dillinger,” Polisena said.
An Australian steer has become an international social media star because of his mammoth size. Knickers, a neutered Holstein male, stands 6-foot-4 and weighs 2,800 pounds, and so dwarfs the cattle in his herd that he doesn’t look real. But he is, and Knickers’ enormous bulk has actually saved his life, because slaughterhouses informed owner Geoff Pearson the steer is too large to be turned into steaks and burgers. “He was just a run-of-the-mill calf that’s turned into a giant,” Pearson said.
A suburban New York police officer is being mocked by fellow cops after he raced into a burning shed to rescue a chicken. Ossining Officer Patrick McGovern bravely rushed into the blaze, then triumphantly emerged to inform the bird’s owner, “I got your chicken.” This led to some hilarity among his colleagues. “Now, it’s not that we don’t love chickens,” the department said on its Facebook page. “It’s just that, if you ever wanted to get a hard time from your coworkers, be a hero…to a chicken.” ■