It must be true…
I read it in the tabloids
A British zoo is offering jilted lovers the chance to name a cockroach after their ex-sweetheart for Valentine’s Day. For $2, the Hemsley Conservation Center will display the “worthless ex-‘someone’s” name outside its cockroach enclosure. The zoo described cockroach-naming as a civilized way to get back “at your ex this Valentine’s Day.” One online commenter called it a “brilliant idea,” but added, “I just hope they have enough cockroaches.”
An Afghan wedding singer has become an internet sensation after a talent show judge noted his uncanny resemblance to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Until now, Abdul Salam Maftoon has supported his wife and four kids by performing at weddings and birthday parties in the war-savaged nation. But he now claims his newfound fame as Trudeau’s “lost twin” will boost his career—as well as his chances of winning the Afghan Star TV competition. “People have forgotten my name and now they just call me ‘Justin Trudeau,’” said Maftoon.
Residents of a Manhattan neighborhood are baffled over how a sofa got lodged high in a towering tree. “This situation is couched in mystery,” one observer noted of the stuck piece of furniture on the Upper West Side. Another resident joked the sofa would soon be rented out “for $2,000 a month.” Retired scientist Richard Katz, 71, was startled to see the treed sofa after walking his dog beneath it. “How did it get there?” Katz wondered. “Only in New York.” ■