It must be true…
I read it in the tabloids
A Missouri man allegedly spiked his co-workers’ water bottles with LSD because he thought they were “too uptight” and “needed to have better energy.” Police were summoned to the Enterprise Rent-A-Car in Arnold after two employees complained of dizziness. After the manager told them she’d seen one worker “messing with” her water bottle that morning, police say, the 19-year-old confessed to using a dropper to lace the drinks. He told police his colleagues had “negative energy.” He now faces charges of assault and drug possession.
A 363-pound man known as the Dumpling has been crowned champion of Russia’s first amateur “male slapping” contest. Vasily Kamotsky, a 28-year-old farmer, defeated all comers at the contest in the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk, to win a 30,000 ruble ($460) prize. Male face slappers must stand opposite each other, separated only by a tall box, and slap each other in turn until one either faints or concedes. Unlike in boxing, competitors are not allowed to try to dodge the blow. “I wouldn’t call it a sport,” conceded Kamotsky, who will now proceed to a national championship.
A Dutch man and a Belgian woman have been named co-victors of the European Gull Screeching Championship. Reggy Laatsch, 31, from Amsterdam and Bregje Iding, 21, from Hasselt bested a field of competitors who dressed in seagull costumes, flapped wings, and imitated a seagull’s cawing. It “sounds quite stupid, but it is real science,” said Jan Seys, a contest judge from the Flanders Marine Institute. “Before you can really imitate a gull, you have to make nice observations—otherwise, you’ll never make it.” ■