Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Adjustments, with assurances from Joey Gallo and Nomar Mazara of the Texas Rangers that they will stop grabbing each other’s crotches as part of their ritualized home-run celebration. “We apologize for that,” said Gallo.
Holding your fire, after armed police responding to a home-invasion call in Oregon found the suspect cornered in a bathroom and burst in to find an active Roomba robot vacuum cleaner, whose noisy collisions with the walls had alarmed the house sitter.
Pampered dogs, After The Wilson, a restaurant in Manhattan, debuted special dishes for dogs and their owners to share on an outdoor patio. The menu includes a $42 grilled rib eye with baby vegetables and a $14 bowl of mixed berries.
Bad week for:
The hirsute, with new research showing that men with beards carry more bacteria than dogs do in their fur, with nearly 40 percent of beards tainted with microbes that are hazardous to human health. “Dogs can be considered as clean compared with bearded men,” said Professor Andreas Gutzeit, of Switzerland’s Hirslanden Clinic.
The Swiss, after the government of Switzerland ruled—incorrectly—that coffee is “not essential to life,” and that the nation’s emergency stockpile of the substance can therefore be abolished.
State media, after an irritated President Trump tweeted that it was “so weird” to see his favorite network, Fox News, host a town-hall event for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders. Trump also complained about how “smiley and nice” the moderators were with the left-wing Sanders.