Good week/bad week
Good week for:
A new Coen brothers script, after Oklahoma police made a traffic stop of Stephen Jennings, 41, and allegedly found he was driving a stolen car on a suspended license, and was in possession of an unlicensed handgun, a live rattlesnake, a canister of powdered yellow uranium, and an open bottle of Kentucky Deluxe whiskey.
Chicagoans, who can finally exhale following the capture, by Florida-based crocodilian expert Frank Robb, of a 5-foot-long alligator that somehow wound up scaring visitors to Humboldt Park.
Populist uprisings, after at least 1.4 million people signed up via Facebook to collectively storm Area 51, the secretive government facility in the Nevada desert long rumored to house crashed extraterrestrial spacecraft. The event’s motto: “Let’s see them aliens.”
Bad week for:
Parental improvisation, after Canadian police arrested a motorist who, in lieu of a standard child booster seat, had seat-belted his 2-year-old on top of a case of beer.
Cads, after a government employee in Rajasthan, India, was disciplined for repeatedly “twirling his mustache” during a meeting in a distracting display of dominance. The formal reprimand reminded the offender that men without mustaches are “no less than others.”
President Trump, whose sterling reputation for honesty took a rare ding when mere days after he claimed to be “a really good speller,” photographers captured a sheaf of speech notes on which Trump, in handwritten capitals, had rendered the word people as “PEOPEL” and the name of the well-known terrorist group al Qaida as “ALCAIDA.”