Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Greased piglets, which will no longer be wrestled for entertainment by children at the Sonoma County Fair in California. Fair officials cited “raised awareness” of animal rights and announced that children will henceforth wrestle greased watermelons.
The homeless, after a federal appeals court ruled 8-7 that Virginia’s long-standing law allowing for the jailing of “habitual drunkards” is unconstitutional. The law is “unconstitutionally vague,” the majority found, and criminalizes “otherwise legal behavior that is an involuntary manifestation of an illness.”
Providing refuge, after a tigress fleeing rising floodwaters in India entered a local home and took “a daylong nap” in one of the beds. The homeowner felt honored, but fled.
Bad week for:
Gizmo the miniature Chihuahua, who was carried off by a seagull this week from his owner’s garden in England. Britain’s Royal Society for the Protection of Birds released a statement reassuring pet owners that “these types of incidents are very rare.”
Representing, with the forced resignation of Iowa Human Services Director Jerry Foxhoven, allegedly because Gov. Kim Reynolds tired of Foxhoven’s obsession with slain rapper Tupac Shakur. Foxhoven, 66, routinely emailed Shakur’s lyrics to his 4,300 employees, and hosted weekly “Tupac Fridays” in his office.
Last-chance power drives, after police in Greenland, N.H., pulled over Eric Joseph, 51, for driving 142 mph in a 65 mph zone. Explaining his excessive speed, Joseph reportedly told officers that he was trying to get home to New Jersey.