It must be true…
I read it in the tabloids
Police in Loretto, Tenn., are warning people not to flush methamphetamine down the toilet for fear of creating super-aggressive “meth-gators.” The alarming public service announcement was made after a suspect tried to dispose of his meth in his commode. “Folks, please don’t flush your drugs,” the police department said. “Geese and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds, and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do.” Cops added that if the drugs traveled downriver, alligators could ingest them, too.
A military man tried to smuggle an unusual souvenir—a missile launcher—onto a commercial airplane. TSA agents seized the “inert” weapon from the man’s checked luggage at Baltimore/Washington International Airport, and he told them that he was an active member of the military and wanted to bring the launcher home to Jacksonville, Texas, as a memento of his time in Kuwait. The TSA sent off the launcher for “safe disposal,” and the man was allowed to board his flight. “Perhaps he should have picked up a keychain instead!” said Lisa Farbstein, a TSA spokeswoman.
A British bride has drawn outrage and scorn on social media for imposing a size-12 limit on her bridesmaids. The uproar began when Londoner Moli Harvey posted to Twitter, “I’m a size 6 and my bridesmaids are supposed to compliment [sic] me not contrast me.” Outraged users pushed back at her slim snobbery, with one raging, “If I knew you, I’d make you wear a mustard yellow ball gown with puke green polka dots and puff sleeves.” ■