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It must be true… 

I read it in the tabloids

A Utah man has learned the hard way not to get too close to bison. Kyler Bourgeous, 30, was gored by a bison during a hike in Antelope Island State Park in June, sustaining a cracked rib and collapsed lung. Believing his misfortune was “just a freak accident,” Bourgeous recently returned to the park with a date, Kayleigh Davis, in order to jog and watch the sunset. But a bison charged and gored her too, puncturing her thigh. “I generally am not superstitious,” said Bourgeous, “but I have this weird feeling that the bison there really don’t like me.”

(AP)

Southeastern Pennsylvania residents have declared war on an invasive insect species that has overrun their region. “Stomp them. Squish them. Destroy them,” reads one poster, in reference to the dreaded spotted lanternfly. The plant-hopping bug, which is native to southeastern Asia, appeared locally five years ago, and its exploding population is damaging valuable trees and grapevines, dropping sticky waste on decks and pools, and landing on people in writhing swarms. “We’re outnumbered,” said Phoenixville resident Lori Beatrice. “It’s just gross. It’s like waking up in a nightmare.”

A South Korean mayor secretly ordered a ton of garbage carted onto a clean beach in his own district so clean-up volunteers would have something to collect the following day. Jindo County Mayor Lee Dong-jin has since apologized for the massive dumping scheme and said he was only trying to “raise awareness about the seriousness of coastal waste.” More than 600 people bagged up the trash, unaware that it had previously been collected from other South Korean beaches before it was intentionally scattered anew. ■

October 11, 2019 THE WEEK
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