Good week/Bad week
Good week for:
Dark tourism, after Ukraine began tours of the control room of the Chernobyl nuclear plant, where engineers made the fateful decision to turn off the plant’s cooling system in 1986. Tourists must wear protective clothing and can only spend five minutes in the still highly radioactive room.
Last laughs, after mourners at an Irishman’s funeral were startled by the sound of knocking and the voice of the deceased bellowing “Let me out! It’s f---ing dark in here!” as his coffin was lowered into the grave. Horror turned to mirth when they realized that Shay Bradley had recorded the prank plea before he died.
Dark horses, with reports that billionaire former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg might jump into the Democratic presidential race if Joe Biden falls far behind Elizabeth Warren.
Bad week for:
Blasphemy, with the launch of the “Biblical MSCHF x INRI Air Max 97 Custom,” a $1,425 pair of white Nike sneakers tricked out with Bible inscriptions, steel crucifixes on the laces, and soles filled with “holy water” from the River Jordan.
Narcissism, after a German bank robber who had just been sentenced to a decade in jail delivered a rambling, 20-hour statement to the court. Michael Jauernik, 71, bragged that he was “more intelligent and clever than any employee of the criminal police agency.”
Georgia, which had its first sighting of the nightmarish northern snakehead, an invasive fish that can breathe air and wriggle on land from lake to lake. “Kill it immediately,” Georgia’s Department of Natural Resources advised residents. “DO NOT RELEASE IT.”