On Monday, President Trump opened his first-ever remarks as president to the United Nations General Assembly with a shout out to one of his luxury properties. "I actually saw great potential right across the street, to be honest with you, and it was only for the reason that the United Nations was here that that turned out to be such a successful project," Trump said about Trump World Tower, immediately after thanking the world leaders and diplomats gathered for the annual week-long summit in New York City.

USA Today noted that Saudi Arabia bought the Tower's 45th floor, and "turned those into part of the Saudi Mission to the United Nations."

After that, Trump turned to talking about the reforms he believes are needed at the organization he once criticized as a "club for people to get together, talk, and have a good time." "[I]n recent years, the United Nations has not reached its full potential because of bureaucracy and mismanagement," Trump said, warning that he's "not seeing results in line with this investment" made by America. He proceeded to outline plans for reform, including "clearly defined goals and metrics" for "every peacekeeping mission" and a bigger focus on "results rather than on process."

As he'd walked in Monday morning, he'd proclaimed that "this will be a great week." Trump is slated to give a speech Tuesday, and later in the week he will meet with other world leaders. Becca Stanek

On Tuesday, the Trump administration will reunite 54 migrant children under 5 with their parents, Justice Department lawyer Sarah Fabian said Monday. U.S. District Judge Dana Sabraw, who set a Tuesday deadline for the Trump administration to reunite all 102 under-5 kids separated from their parents under President Trump's "zero tolerance" border policy, acknowledged Monday that some reunification cases "will necessitate additional time." He ordered the Justice Department and ACLU back in court Tuesday to update him and adjudicate protocols on reuniting children.

Fabian was reticent about the administration's reunification plans, citing safety, but The New York Times says "the operation will be carried out with an unusual level of secrecy" by the Department of Homeland Security's Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) arm. That's pretty unorthodox, the Times adds:

A person familiar with the reunification plan said managers at the sites where younger children are being housed have been instructed that they are to put the children in vans on Tuesday and take them to locations that are as yet unknown to them. ... The plan for Tuesday was unusual not only for its secrecy, but for its oversight: The Homeland Security Department is not typically involved directly in family reunifications. Until now, most such reunifications have occurred at migrant youth shelters, many of which are run by contractors. Those contractors, however, do not appear to be actively involved in the reunifications planned for this week. [The New York Times]

Fabian said the reunited families will be released until their immigration cases are concluded, though Guatemala's vice minister of foreign affairs said 11 reunified families are expected to be deported to Guatemala on Tuesday. Fabian said that nine parents of children under 5 have already been deported without their children, nine parents were released and their whereabouts are unknown, and other migrant parents have criminal records that preclude them being reunited with their kids. One child, age 3, has not been matched with a parent yet. Peter Weber

While The Late Show was on break last week, President Trump ousted scandal-plagued Environmental Protection Agency head Scott Pruitt. On Monday's show, Stephen Colbert noted that Pruitt is just the latest official to leave the Trump administration, by choice or, usually, otherwise. "For those of us in the media, this ongoing staff purge is amazing to watch," Colbert said. "It's like a form of blood sport. We're riveted. It's like something out of The Hunger Games — no, wait! It's 'The Hungry to Leave Power Games.'"

That was Colbert's cue to transform into his Caesar Flickerman character. "Tonight, citizens, we honor EPA head Scott Pruitt, a man whose only flaw was being terrible," he said, recapping some of Pruitt's scandals, even after his theatrical huffing of chlorpyrifos — a brain-damaging chemical Pruitt green-lighted after meeting with the head of its manufacturer, Dow Chemicals — fatally fogged up his glasses. Before playing the Hunger Games theme music, he placed a Pruitt action figure into a soundproof box with moisturizer lotion and a few sprays of chlorpyrifos, promising to put the box into a polluted river. Then it was farewell to the tribute from "District Fancy Pens." (Some of Flickerman's language is borderline NSFW.)

Colbert also gawked at Trump's campaign rally in Montana last week, starting with his threat to gently lob a DNA kit at Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.). "So, crazy stuff, but I know what you're saying," he said. "You're saying, Stephen, did he ramble for two straight minutes about Elton John, hockey, and brains? Let's find out." (Spoiler: He did.) "Now, we have to remember, this is the president of the United States talking, and I, frankly, do not feel qualified to respond to his Elton John-brain speech," Colbert said. "So I've decided to bring in someone who's more qualified." That teed up a new Late Show segment. Watch below. Peter Weber

On Monday, San Bernardino County District Attorney Mike Ramos said he has placed his office's top gang prosecutor, Michael Selyem, on paid administrative leave during an investigation into vulgar and offensive social media posts. According to The San Bernardino Sun, Seylem called Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) a "loud-mouthed c--t" and said "you would think someone would have shot this bitch by now"; posted a crude photo about President Trump grabbing former first lady Michelle Obama by the penis; mocked Mexicans; and said of a victim of police shooting that the "sh--bag got exactly what he deserved."

Ramos said he learned about the Seylem's Facebook and Instagram posts on June 28, and "more than several" people inside the district attorney's office and outside had complained about them. "As the district attorney, I was really concerned with comments regarding officer-involved shootings, because we handle those cases, as you know, on a daily basis," Ramos said at a news conference Monday. In the end, he added, Seylem could face "some form of disciplinary action, up to termination." Incoming District Attorney Jason Anderson said Selyem's comments are "not a reflection of the image I would like to portray of the DA's office." Selyem, 50, joined the San Bernardino district attorney's office 12 years ago. His cases are being reassigned. Peter Weber

Jimmy Kimmel was mostly incommunicado in the wilds of Montana when President Trump attacked him and other late-night hosts at a rally in South Carolina last month, so when Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon issued their joint response with the help from Conan O'Brien, Kimmel knew only that Trump had said something negative about him, he explained on Monday's Kimmel Live. When he got back to civilization, he fired up Google and learned that Trump had spun an elaborate tale of Kimmel obsequiously greeting him before a 2016 taping of Kimmel Live, waiting for him to arrive, calling him "sir," and holding the door for him when he got out of his limo on Hollywood Blvd.

"That never happened," Kimmel laughed. "It's a funny thing: We all know, like even the people who like the president know he makes things up. But still, it's weird to hear him tell a lie that specifically involves you." He explained that he didn't even greet Trump in his dressing room before the show — "I never do" — that guests don't enter the studio from Hollywood Blvd., and that he'd never say "sir" to "the host of the friggin' Celebrity Apprentice."

"This is what really happened that night," Kimmel said, telling a story about Donald Trump banging on his studio door with half a bucket of chicken, urgently needing to use the facilities. The story gets kind of gross. "That's true — that story is exactly as true as his was," Kimmel said. Watch below. Peter Weber

Operation "Make American Idiot Great Again" is underway, and so far, it's a success.

When President Trump arrives in England later this week for his first visit while in office, he might not want to turn on any radios or check any of the charts, as there's a social media campaign to make Green Day's 2004 song "American Idiot" the No. 1 single during his trip. Over the weekend, the song — a critique of the media coverage surrounding the Iraq War — entered the Top 10 on Britain's iTunes and Amazon charts, and Chart Data reports that on Monday, "American Idiot" also made a comeback on the official singles charts; it's now in the Top 20.

The Brits aren't the only ones trolling Trump with the track; last week, Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.) suggested that if Secretary of State Mike Pompeo was going to gift North Korean leader Kim Jong Un with a CD of Elton John's song "Rocket Man," Kim should reciprocate with "American Idiot." Catherine Garcia

Since Stephen Colbert taped Monday's Late Show a few hours before President Trump named his pick to replace Justice Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court, he had to rely on a bit of deliberately clumsy editorial magic to announce that federal appellate Judge Brett Kavanaugh got Trump's rose. After expressing surprise that Trump picked "that guy, girl, or fast food mascot," Colbert needed something to talk about, so he talked about Sean Hannity's role in picking Trump's nominee.

"You know Trump considers it a crucial decision because yesterday, while he was at his country club in Bedminster — the Jersey White House, as no one calls it — he was, and this is true, being advised by Sean Hannity," Colbert said. This is "very common," he deadpanned. "Presidents have always relied on the advice of TV personalities. Reagan only supported the Contras after the weekend summit he had with ALF. And apparently, Hannity got some bang for his blather, because reports are that some White House aides are annoyed that Trump is announcing his SCOTUS pick at 9 p.m. in order to help Sean Hannity's ratings." He imagined Trump watching himself on Hannity, not quite making his announcement, conjuring up a sort of political-comedy Droste effect. It's something to behold. Watch below. Peter Weber

On Monday evening, U.S. District Judge Dolly Gee in Los Angeles denied the Trump administration's request to modify a 1997 consent decree to allow migrant families to be detained together for long periods and in unlicensed facilities. The Justice Department's request for changes in the Flores agreement, she wrote, was "a cynical attempt" to shift immigration policymaking to the courts after "over 20 years of congressional inaction and ill-considered executive action that have led to the current stalemate." Gee had rejected a similar request to modify the Flores agreement by former President Barack Obama's administration in 2015, and she said Monday that President Trump's Justice Department had failed to offer new evidence that a revision was necessary.

The Justice Department said it is reviewing Gee's ruling. Another federal judge has ordered Trump to stop separating families at the border and reunite separated migrant families starting Tuesday, giving Trump few options. Under Trump's "zero tolerance" policy, most people crossing the U.S.-Mexico border without permission were jailed, with children sent to separate facilities than their parents, often hundreds or thousands of miles away. When Obama faced a similar influx of migrants from Central America in 2014, he eventually settled on releasing most families together, often on bond or with ankle monitors to assure they returned to court. "Sifting through the government's false narrative, the court clearly found that the Flores settlement has never resulted in the separation of families," said Peter Schey, a lead counsel on the original Flores lawsuit. "President Trump needs to take responsibility for his own misguided policies." Peter Weber