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Surefire Intelligence
November 2, 2018

At a Holiday Inn outside Washington, D.C., on Thursday, Jacob Wohl and GOP lobbyist Jack Burkman held their promised press conference on their sketchy allegations of sexual misconduct against Special Counsel Robert Mueller. The gathered reporters, it seemed, enjoyed the press conference more than its hosts. For one thing, the woman who they said would show up to discuss her accusation did not show up; upon arriving in Washington, Wohl claimed, she "panicked and boarded a flight to another location." Added Burkman, "She is frightened for her life and will not be with us today."

Wohl and Burkman couldn't agree on how to spell the alleged accuser's name — "Even the Declaration of Independence had misspellings," Burkman noted — or when they planned to file a police report. The FBI is already investigating — whether someone offered to pay women to lie about being sexually assaulted by Mueller. "Are you both prepared for federal prison?" someone yelled at the end of Thursday's news conference. "No, we are not," Burkman said.

The entire press conference "was, truly, the laugh we needed today," said Vivian Kane at The Mary Sue. After a bad start, "the event rapidly descended further into farce," added Luke Barnes at ThinkProgress. When a reporter asked Wohl, 20, what investigative experience he had, Burkman stuck up for him: "I think Jacob is a child prodigy who has eclipsed Mozart."

Wohl's bosses at the far-right news site Gateway Pundit did not seem to agree. After an internal investigation, editor Jim Hoft said in a post Thursday that "The Gateway Pundit suspended our relationship with Jacob. We need to collect more information on this explosive situation." Gateway Pundit may be "rapidly distancing itself from Wohl," Barnes said, archly, but "to his immense credit, Wohl was willing and able to continue his grift for a good hour in front of a room full of skeptical journalists." Peter Weber

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