he's a poet and definitely knows it
January 23, 2019

Mother Goose's 2019 edition has arrived.

On Wednesday, President Trump unveiled what he's calling "the new theme" for his continued fight for border wall funding, and it sounds suspiciously like an unfinished nursery rhyme. "BUILD A WALL & CRIME WILL FALL!," Trump wrote in two back-to-back tweets, hinting at what's sure to become a cumbersome new chant at an upcoming rally and ominously telling readers to "use it and pray."

But a poem can't be left at one line, and both fans and detractors fired off extensions of Trump's new mantra. Unfortunately for Trump, detractors seemed to be in the majority in the online poetry slam, and national security lawyer Bradley Moss took the cake with his full-length, Russia-referencing modification. Kathryn Krawczyk

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