sure why not
March 24, 2020

Britney Spears seemingly called for the redistribution of wealth and a general strike on Monday, "regramming" a post written by Instagram user Mimi Zhu. "During this time of isolation, we need connection now more than ever," the text shared by Spears said, going on to describe how "we will learn to kiss and hold each other through the waves of the web. We will feed each other, redistribute wealth, strike. We will understand our own importance from the places we must stay."

The "Work B---h" singer captioned the post by quoting the text's penultimate line — "communion [moves] beyond walls" — and adding three emoji roses, a symbol commonly used by the Democratic Socialists of America.

"Queen of [the] proletariat," cheered on one fan in the comments. Jeva Lange

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January 19, 2020

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani claims he'd "love" to be a witness in President Trump's Senate impeachment trial, reports The Hill.

Giuliani, who serves as Trump's personal lawyer, told radio talk show host John Catsimatidis: "I would love to see a trial. I'd love to be a witness — because I'm a potential witness in the trial — and explain to everyone the corruption that I found in Ukraine, that far out-surpasses any that I've ever seen before, involving Joe Biden and a lot of other Democrats."

Giuliani was allegedly involved in a push to pressure Ukraine into launching investigations into Trump's political rivals, working to dig up dirt on former Vice President Joe Biden and pushing out former Ukrainian Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch, who was reportedly viewed as an obstacle in obtaining the promise of investigations.

Democrats in Congress have called for the Senate impeachment trial, set to begin arguments this week, to include additional witnesses beyond those who testified in the House inquiry. Senate Republicans have so far declined the requests. No evidence has emerged to prove any wrongdoing by Democrats in Ukraine, but Giuliani said "I have those facts. I have those witnesses. I have documents, and I have recordings. And I would love to get them out in public." Summer Meza

October 30, 2019

Bill Murray's belated transition from beloved Hollywood actor to eccentric wandering prankster has hit a fork in the road with the chance for a steady new gig: A job at the P.F. Chang's at the Atlanta airport, which the company offered after Murray indicated he'd like to work there.

On a podcast with Amy Schumer, Murray revealed that he filled out an application to work at the P.F. Chang's because "it looks like the best time" — an opinion that will last roughly 45 seconds, until a customer screams at him because the orange chicken is too orange, or whatever. Read more at CNN. Scott Meslow

October 18, 2019

Hollywood has once again spun the wheel of intellectual property to revive for the big screen and landed, this time, on Barney.

A new live-action movie based on the dinosaur from our imagination is in the works, with Get Out star Daniel Kaluuya producing, The Hollywood Reporter writes. The Oscar-nominated actor sure goes overboard in his announcement, seeming to stop just short of declaring this reboot will save cinema itself and isn't a Barney movie, but a Barney film.

"Barney was a ubiquitous figure in many of our childhoods, then he disappeared into the shadows, left misunderstood," Kaluuya declared. "We're excited to explore this compelling modern-day hero and see if his message of 'I love you, you love me' can stand the test of time."

The studio's description of the film wasn't much less over-the-top, with Mattel Films head Robbie Brenner promising a "completely new approach" to Barney "that will surprise audiences and subvert expectations" and "speak to the nostalgia of the brand in a way that will resonate with adults, while entertaining today's kids." Yes, we're still talking about Barney here.

There's no other details yet about how exactly the film plans to subvert expectations, perhaps with a Joker-style gritty origin story revealing Barney's troubled past, but stay tuned for more information about the inevitable Best Picture winner and to find out whether Martin Scorsese considers Barney movies to be cinema. Brendan Morrow

October 9, 2017

President Trump's Cabinet had great things to say about the boss' immigration priorities, a bizarre press release from the White House proved Monday. Instead of quoting nonpartisan groups or experts in the field, the press release cited Attorney General Jeff Sessions, acting Department of Homeland Security Secretary Elaine Duke, Secretary of Commerce Wilber Ross, and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

The bunch, perhaps unsurprisingly, was in favor of Trump's priorities: "These are reasonable proposals that will build on the early success of President Trump's leadership," raved Sessions. "This plan will work."

"The first duty of the federal government is to provide for the national security of the American people and President Trump's measures will end vulnerabilities in our immigration system that hinder our ability to protect our homeland," added Tillerson.

"This will be money well spent!" Ross chimed in, exclamation point and all.

It's not the first time Trump's Cabinet has served as positive reinforcement for the president — but it is the first time they've been so formal about it. Read the full release below. Jeva Lange

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