We regret to inform you that people actually like Sen. Ted Cruz's (R-Texas) newly formed beard.
The "universally despised" senator returned to Washington, D.C. after Thanksgiving sporting a patchy something that some people called a beard. Now, it's been a few weeks, Cruz's facial hair is for real, and the world is reacting in an absurdly positive manner.
When Cruz first cracked a smile surrounded by some hair last month, The Cut speculated it might be a celebration of #NoShaveNovember. But November has ended and regrettably, the beard has not. Cruz's Friday appearance on the Senate floor prompted Slate to say his beard "looks great" and makes him "semi-hot." And a Fox News appearance Wednesday led CNN's Andrew Kaczynski to tweet "If Ted Cruz had this beard in 2016 he would have won" the presidential election. Even Chrissy Teigen conceded in Cruz's favor.
While it's nowhere near the improvement that hipster glasses brought to Energy Secretary Rick Perry's face, even the harshest of skeptics must admit Cruz's beard does disrupt a face a neurologist described as naturally unlikeable. The bigger question is why Cruz sprouted a beard now, after winning his surprisingly challenging Senate race with Rep. Beto O'Rourke (D-Texas). Perhaps it's because the Texas GOP's reminder that O'Rourke once had a goatee famously backfired, and Cruz has been studying O'Rourke's face on plane rides ever since. Kathryn Krawczyk