1. There's a prequel to The Shining in development
If you had a Danny Torrance-like feeling of foreboding today, it's for a good reason: A sequel to Stanley Kubrick's The Shining is reportedly in the early stages of development. According to The Hollywood Reporter, former Wallking Dead showrunner Glenn Mazzara has been tapped to write a screenplay for a Shining prequel tentatively titled Overlook Hotel — presumably because some Hollywood executive saw that Bates Motel was doing pretty well on TV and decided to clock off early for the day. Now that the "prequel to beloved horror movies" thing is officially a trend, keep your eyes peeled for The Fifth Sense and Buying a Video Camera So We Can Go Look For The Blair Witch Next Week.

2. RiFF RAFF will play 'Jamie Franko' on One Life to Live
Despite widespread (and convincing) evidence that James Franco based his distinctive performance in Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers on the equally distinctive day-to-day life of rapper RiFF RAFF, both Korine and Franco have denied that the character was directly based on RiFF RAFF. And now, RiFF RAFF is firing back with his own riff on Franco. According to Pitchfork, the rapper will appear on an upcoming episode of soap opera One Life to Live as a "seedy Miami art dealer" named Jamie Franko. Further details on RiFF RAFF's performance weren't available, but given his inspiration for the role, there's always a chance that he'll be asked to host the Oscars with Anne Hathaway next year. 

3. You should probably just stop trying to figure out whether Chris Brown and Rihanna are dating
On Wednesday, a wide number of gossip websites reported that Chris Brown and Rihanna had broken up for the eighth or ninth time. (We've officially lost count.) But the reports were premature, says Us Weekly: According to a source close to the couple, they've been "fighting a lot" in recent weeks, but remain together — for now. "Every second it's a blow-up and then full on in love," the source says, painting a picture of just the kind of healthy relationship the couple is known for. 

4. Joe Jonas responds to the latest annoying celebrity YouTube invitation
Just when everyone had finally stopped talking about Kate Upton's prom invite, a Jonas brother had to show up and ruin it for everyone. According to People, Joe Jonas appeared on Today to respond one of those irritating celebrity YouTube invites — this one to a Pepperdine college formal — and thereby ensured that we'll all be subjected to a bunch more of them. Jonas declined the invitation, though he did offer to fly his female suitor to Chicago for one of his concerts. So really, nobody wins.

5. Robert Pattinson bought Kristen Stewart a $40,000 pen
What do you buy for the mopey vampire who has everything? Kristen Stewart's boyfriend Robert Pattinson came up with an unusual answer for the actress' 23rd birthday: A $40,000, limited edition white gold fountain pen. According to to Hollywood Life, the pen is one of only 40 ever manufactured — so there are at least 39 other people in the world with way, way too much money.