1. Lindsay Lohan returns to Twitter to shill energy drink
After an uncharacteristic Twitter hiatus in the wake of scathing reviews for her Lifetime movie Liz & Dick, Lindsay Lohan is again tweeting the inscrutable, stream-of-conscious missives that have come to define the past few years of her "career," reports E! Online. What prompted Lohan's return? The desire to post a photo of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner spread, featuring two less-than-traditional cans of Mr. Pink energy drink. The makers of Mr. Pink promptly referenced Lohan's tweet three times, in case the product placement wasn't blatant enough.

2. Psy will earn at least $7.9 million from "Gangnam Style"
Korean sensation Psy may not have earned a Grammy nomination, but according to the Associated Press, he'll be able to wipe away his tears of disappointment with stacks and stacks of money. His total income from "Gangnam Style," which includes money earned from YouTube ads, iTunes downloads, and TV commercials, should amount at least $7.9 million this year, or enough to buy 895,451 more blue tuxedo jackets.

3. Justin Bieber manager Scooter Braun goes on anti-Grammy Twitter rant
Beliebers spent most of the day mourning their Canadian hero's failure to score a single Grammy nomination and, while Bieber remained mum, their frustration was echoed by his manager Scooter Braun, reports MTV News. "I just plain DISAGREE. The kid deserved it. Grammy board u blew it on this one," tweeted Braun, adding "looks like we get to stay the underdog a little longer" — redefining "underdog" as "a world-famous, multimillionaire 18-year-old."

4. Metallica and Napster cofounder Sean Parker agree to forgive and forget
Heavy metal group/cranky old men Metallica are famous for the public stand they took against Napster, the file-sharing service that allowed fans to share their old songs and ignore their new ones. But the band made the very un-metal decision to bury the hatchet with Napster cofounder Sean Parker — sealing the deal by making their musical available on newer, better service Spotify, in which Parker is an investor, reports The Huffington Post. "It was never about money," said Metallica's Lars Ulrich, as he announced an agreement with a company that has paid over $500 million to its artists.

5. Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman "working on getting back together"
For many fans, hearing that Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman were splitting up after 30 years of marriage was like hearing that love itself had died. But anyone who's spent the past month in a Ben & Jerry's-consuming funk can take solace in DeVito's declaration that the couple is "working on getting back together," reports ABC News. "Rhea and I are really close," says DeVito. "Actually, still together, just separate, but together," which, while reassuring, makes no sense.