1. Viewers ignore Angus T. Jones' plea that they boycott Two and a Half Men
Angus T. Jones made headlines recently for dismissing his CBS sitcom, Two and a Half Men, calling it "filth" on YouTube and urging viewers to boycott the series. Viewers responded by watching Two and a Half Men en masse, reports E! Online. The latest episode drew 13.8 million viewers, tying a season-high record set two weeks ago. And what did loyal, defiant viewers gets? An episode titled "I Scream When I Pee," in which Jones' character is pleased to discover he's contracted an STD because it proves that he's had sex — so no, not filthy at all. 

2. Seth MacFarlane offers college students a shot to present at the Oscars
In a competition that doubles as a desperate, thinly-disguised bid to attract younger viewers to the 2013 Academy Awards telecast, host Seth MacFarlane has announced that at least six college students will earn the chance to present an Oscar, reports the Associated Press. Academy members will select winners based on videos that hopefuls submit to the Academy's Facebook page — assuming that Academy members can figure out how to log in to Facebook.

3. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo holiday special is in the works
TV viewers must have been very bad this year, because TLC has announced that it will broadcast the television equivalent of a basketball-sized lump of coal, reports The Stir: A Here Comes Honey Boo Boo holiday episode. The young TV sensation/national embarrassment may or may not kiss an alligator under the mistletoe.

4. Lindsay Lohan's alleged assault victim was a "well-known psychic"
Because yesterday's Lindsay Lohan assault story wasn't bizarre enough, TMZ reveals that Lohan's alleged victim, Tiffany Mitchell, is "a well-known psychic" who'd had a Lohan-centric vision and wanted to offer the starlet a free reading. Mitchell claims that Lohan responded to her well-meaning offer by calling her a "fucking gypsy," which caused Mitchell's friend to retort that "Liz & Dick sucked" — an opinion one would have thought Lohan would be used to hearing by now.

5. Chris Brown gives retroactively ironic interview
Chris Brown isn't generally known for keeping his cool — but in an interview with XXL, conducted before his recent Twitter blowup but published this week, the singer claims to have turned over a new leaf. "I used to use my Twitter account to vent, but now I mostly use it for marketing and promotions," said Brown, reports Gawker. "If it's anything that's too negative, I don't care to respond." It's unclear whether tweeting about defecating into someone's mouth and eye — the highlight of Brown's Twitter rant — falls under "marketing" or "promotions."